Waiter, There's An Eye In My Soup

October is a weird month, isn't it? The creepy, gory, frightening and strange are not only embraced, but handed to children on platters. See:

(Double the pun for double the fun!)

Meatloaf hand. You can find the instructions here in case you want to traumatize your family and make certain they never crave meatloaf again.

Not only can you nail your family with a creepy meal, you can also take finger foods to classroom parties and raise your popularity into the double digits:

What's that you say? Witches fingers aren't eye catching enough to be the winning pick for your Halloween party? These scary eyeballs are worth a second glance (just like Sally's house!). You might want to roll with it and give these babies a shot ...

...because they are made with Babybel cheese! Yes! We need healthy snacks on Halloween! Too much sugar can leave your little ones with an upset stomach. Then they might do this:

I've heard of pumpkin chucking before, but I've never knew that it meant pumpkin chucking. I thought it had something to do with catapults and propulsion rockets. But you don't need to call that poor little pumpkin a dip for making a mess like that: he's actually doing the earth a favor by going green.

And just in case that's not enough to turn your stomach, how about this one:

Blood worms, made with Jello. Do I look like all the blood has drained from my face because I feel like I am just inches away from going the way of the earth.

OK, I think I have made my point. (And I'm really fishing for puns.) We want our children to be kind, respectful, considerate, compassionate, degenerate, and cannibals. We always ask them if they have wax in their ears ...

(Yes, more edible yummieness. You must go see this blog. Unless you already ate lunch, then you might want to wait a bit.)

...but maybe it's because we are sending them mixed messages. We tell them not to play with their food, but what do you call creating all of these grotesque treats? PLAYING WITH FOOD! No wonder the rising generations are turning to drugs to erase all the damage inflicted by creative parents!

This really isn't a post about tearing Halloween to shreds like Freddy Krueger at a Tempur-Pedic factory outlet. It's possibly the longest, most indirect way to introduce a blog topic ever. I'm rather proud of myself for wasting your time like a mummy in a bathroom.

This post is really about the gross stuff we eat--or mostly about the stuff that we think is gross but that other people love. You know--the stuff that you'd rather die than eat.

My list of gross foods I can't stomach:

Seafood. Of any kind. I can occasionally take a small bite of fish if it is smothered in sauce--but I can never do lobster, crab, shrimp ... and sushi! If I was stranded on an island and was facing starvation, I would rather eat the leather off the volleyball than eat sushi!

Eggs. I do not like them scrambled, boiled, over easy, under easy, in a tree, or in a boat.

Venison. I can eat it ... especially if I don't know what it is, but once I'm told that I just ate Bambi, I get ready to make guacamole. I can't eat anything that I saw alive: like that squirrel that had been living in our tree all summer. When he finally got taken out, I just couldn't bring myself to cooking him up in a stew.

And now for foods that aren't foods or aren't meant for human consumption: have you ever eaten anything like worms or goldfish or something else really nasty you did on a dare?  The only thing like that I ever ate was dog food. When I was in college, some guys gave us a plate of snacks--like pretzel rolls and stuff. And dog food was mixed in. But it wasn't like they were telling us we were dogs (at least I hope that's not what it meant!), but it was done on a dorm prank day. We were blonde enough to forget it was prank day and we gobbled up the treats until we realized we were foaming at the mouth.

What food makes you want to bring out your witches wand so you can do a vanishing spell? And what food did you eat that should have remained in the witches cupboard?