Do you wonder about those terms? Naughty and nice are so very opposite. Is there really no in-between? That's almost like Santa checking his list to see if anyone has committed any heinous crimes or written any boring nursery rhymes. Don't you think it would be better if the entire Santa giftage was on a token economy system, based on your number of good deeds versus the number of misdeeds? (Deeds and misdeeds rhyme, FYI. Watch out Seuss. I'm hot on your tail.) For example, if you tripped a small child, didn't help an old lady with her groceries, and wrestled with alligators at a public zoo, that would be 3 demerits. But let's say that during that same year you taught a child how to read, sang in a flash mob at the Mall of America, didn't have any library fines, AND you save a capuchin monkey from starvation, you get 5 merits. (An extra point for the monkey. Becuase monkeys are cute.) Then instead of getting a lump of coal (I remember when my dad's friend gave him a little bucket of coal that was actually black liquorice, which he loves, and a little chisel that you had to use to chip off the liquorice. Now THAT was a great white elephant gift. BTW, just looking at the spelling of liquorice. Hmm, I wonder if that's why my dad likes it so much. JUST KIDDING DAD! I know you only like the kind that's spelled licorice.) you would get a gift worth 2 merits, or $20, which is a whole lot better than nothin'! Why hasn't Santa thought of this?
Is it possibly because it's too complicated? Or is it possibly because it doesn't scare small children enough? The threat of getting nothin' for Christmas is pretty huge. But $20? That's 20 things from the dollar store! (Me smart at math.) I know a lot of kids who would think that's pretty awesome.
So it's back to naughty or nice. Which were you as a child? Did you ever have fears that you were on Santa's naughty list? (If you aren't careful typing, you might accidentally type Satan instead of Santa. That's super weird.) (If you aren't careful when typing Lori you might accidentally type Loir. That's not super weird. It's super pathetic. I should be able to spell my name right, but like I said, math is my best skill set.)
I can't remember exactly, but I think I was slightly ornery as a child. I do remember throwing several large tantrums. I also remember hitting a kind lady who tried to help me when I was lost in the mall. (Stranger danger!) I told a few fibs--usually when I didn't want to fess up to doing something wrong in the first place. Like the time I cut myself on the face and I said I tripped on a stick. I can't remember what I was really doing that was forbidden, but it did result in me getting injured, just like I'm sure my mom predicted. Then there was the time I told my SIL her waterbed must have sprung a leak, when that's not what had happened. (Yes, I was the one who sprung a leak. Are you happy that I humiliated myself by spelling that out for ya?) Other than those tiny episodes of misbehavior, I think I was generally nice. (OH, and except for the time I yelled obscenities like "blondie go fart!" out of the window, directed at the neighbor's backyard BBQ. I was misguided by my older sister and her friend.) (If you are not careful when typing OH, you accidentally spell HO! Which is such a super awesome coincidence that it just makes me merry, merry, merry!)
Got this from here. Cute! Somebody crafty should make it.
Are you ready to tell on your childhood self? What naughtyness did you participate in? Or were you polishing your halo even as a child?
You may also tell on any of your children if you so desire. Do you threaten them with being on the naughty list? Have any of them ever gotten nothing more than a lump of coal? Do tell!
12 comments:
I think I was a pretty good kid. I was not interested in lying or sneaking, I couldn't take the guilt. There was that one time I tried to go to the movies with a girlfriend when we were about 15 (before I was allowed to date), and we were meeting boys there. "Are you meeting boys at the movies, Jenny?" my mom asked. OH NO! I exploded with fear and feigned being insulted to high heaven that she would suspect me of such a naughty deed. I can't remember if we even went through with it after that, ha ha. I wasn't perfect, but my parents could generally trust me to be true to my word.
So...it drives me nuts when my kids try to be sneaky! My husband does like to threaten the kids with Santa not coming when they do naughty things, but I'm so sensitive about the whole Santa myth thing anyway (I was devastated when I found out that he and the Easter Bunny weren't real), that I try not to mislead my kids into even wondering if he's real or not.
Wouldn't I LOVE to give everyone in the family coal, just to save our budget!? I won't do that though, 'cause Christmas is just too much fun.
Apparently I was very hard to raise because whenever people talk about being pregnant and not knowing the gender my mom always tells them boys are a LOT easier to raise. So I guess I must have been naughty. I could blame it on my best friends who were not members and were generally a bad influence. I actually wrote a whole essay about this one time I went to a full-out rock concert with no adult supervision. There was also riding the bus home with my friend rather than my bus home and I got in big trouble for that probably because my mom didn’t know where I was and I was supposed to make dinner that night. I can’t think of a single good thing I did when I was little. I know for young women’s I had to have so many service hours so I’d do good things then. I think I was pretty bad up until 7th or 8th grade when I wasn’t friends with bad influences anymore. I was still pretty naughty and concerning to my parents until freshman year when I was diagnosed with cancer. I’ve been pretty good since then. Still a headache to my parents with all my medical crap. But Così è la vita.
As a child, I was very naughty because I always fought with my siblings. We were terrors. Babysitters would come and then refuse to come ever again because we fought so badly. But as a teenager I was the peacemaker and pretty well behaved. Never partied or snuck out or any of those heathen things. I'm hoping karma catches up with me for my own kids with the second part. I don't want them to fight though, obviously :)
Jenna: Sorry for my delay in replying! I've been making candy cane trees today and now my fingers are very stickkkkkyyyy. If I shoplift tonight, I might actually be able to be excused because I really do have sticky fingers! So how do you answer when one of your children (like Shark) ask you if Santa is real? My 8 year old is so trusting and so honest PLUS she's my only child who actually likes me, just asked "Is Santa real?" and I sputtered. I didn't know how to reply! The boys are easy-- you just distract them with some brownies and they forget what they asked you. I just want her to wait until she's 10 to ask me that. I would love for you to give the kids coal and get it on video. You could send it to Jimmy Kimmel. And then you could take everyone to the basement and show them their real presents. Do it Jenna!
Devree: I completely disagree with your mother. Girls are so much easier. You must have been a heckion, young Devree. I'm glad that the only heck you've given them in your teenage years has been the life or death kind. :( JK. I bet it was easier to chase down a child who was on the wrong bus than it was to watch your sweet little girl get so so sick. Your family is an inspiration! You done with finals? Did you get lots of new snow? When do you get to go home?
Nicole: You made me laugh. I just read an interview with Ann Romney today and she said that her boys were perfect angels when they were out in public, and then they were holy terrors when they got home. She told them she wished they misbehaved in public so that people would actually feel sorry for her. Funny! I'm positive your baby will never grow into a naughty teenager: she's much too angelic! Might I get to see you this Christmas break? I hope?!
I hope you’re right about girls because I want to have a gaggle of them. I was bad Lori! You don’t even know! I bet it was harder. I remember my dad wanting to do anything to make me feel better and taking every precaution suggested to keep my white blood cell counts from dropping. My mom was kind of the opposite. She’d push me farther than I thought I could go and pretty much told me to be tough. They’re still like that and always have been. They’re pretty great. No, finals aren’t until next week. :P Oh yeah, lots of new snow and my clunky, heavy, snow boots. I don’t get to go home. I’m staying here for Christmas and then my family is coming up the day after. I have lots of family in the area and people that treat me like family so I’ll be okay.
Steven wants to go to Great Falls over the break but we have no definite plans. Will you be there sometime? You know, maybe even if we don't go to GF, we could take a day trip up north!
Girls, schmurls, boys schmoys. I have 2 of each. It's not the gender that makes a child easier or not to raise, it just depends on the child. I have 2 difficult boys, and one difficult girl, and one easy girl. There are "easy" and "hard" with both types of kids. Just hope for good kids, and you'll be lucky if you get one easy one in the lot--who cares what their gender is? Okay I'm done :).
Dana (12) had the nerve to ask me if Santa was real. Hello! I think she already knows the answer to that, she just wanted to corner me. So, I just started telling her about the "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus" newspaper article of old. That made her happy. When my kids point fingers at me and tell me that I'm the Tooth Fairy, I don't confirm or deny their accusations, I just sidetrack them like you said, and tell them something silly like, "I'm way too big to fly with little tiny wings" or something like that :). Or, I just play the "I don't know" card over and over until they give up :). And, I tell them that I'm Santa's helper, the Tooth Fairy's helper, the Easter Bunny gives me things to do too...Those guys need all the help we can give :).
Is there a winner this month or do we all get a lump of coal?
Nicole: The Flathead is much prettier than GF. Just sayin' :)
Jenna: You are right: why do we always try to categorize everyone? Like you might call me a writer, but does that mean I actually write stuff? No, no I do not. :( Some kids are easy; some kids are hard. That's all it is. I'm going to use your line next time my daughter asks me about Santa: "I can neither confirm nor deny his existence." I think that should satisfy her. Thanks for you tips!
Devree: YOU get coal; everyone else gets a good prize. He he. JK. Yes! There will be a prize. I'll announce it next Tuesday. Is there anything you've had your eye on that I should look for when I go out shopping???
Just something fun and cute Lori. Perfume! That's something I've been looking for. The library where I work had us all write letters to Santa so I asked for a boyfriend but since I know he doesn't deliver against free will I asked for an external hard drive. When you're talking about Santa, the sky is the limit!
Devree: I hope you get better tahn just any old boyfriend. I hope you get a Jonas brother in your stocking! ;)
Did you see my tee shirt that I wore to the Christmas party? It said it all. Three choices, nice, naughty, and I really tried. NO child is always naughty or nice. I know I wasn't, but honest Mom,I rreally tried. (WINK, WINK). :)
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