The Gift of Mediocrity

I had a different post halfway written, but this subject kept nagging me. I hesitate to write about it because I don't feel that I have yet overcome this particular obstacle in my life, but then I realized that maybe that's why I need to write about it--the best way to fully understand something is through explaining it to others.

So join me as I learn about ... MEDIOCRITY! 

I have ofttimes felt like I'm cursed to live a life of mediocrity. I have always had a desire to rise up and achieve greatness--in some form or another--but everything I do seems to just be so so.

So so book sales, so so hits on my blog, so so athletic abilities, so so conversation skills, so so grades in school, and so on and so on on the so so.

It also pains me to see my children suffer from so so ness. "Why doesn't the coach play me more?" "Why didn't I get a bigger role?" "Why didn't I get the best grade?"

Being mediocre is better than feeling like a failure (I've been there too. Ugh), but it's still not what we aspire to, right?

Since we aspire to do more--to BE more--it's understandable that not meeting your own expectations can bring on frustration.

What I'm about to say is going to be revolutionary ...

It's time to lower your expectations.

No one ever says that! In fact, you are told to always do your best. I agree, do YOUR best. But let go of the expectation to do someone else's best.

So what if you aren't the star player on the middle school basketball team? Did you try hard? Did you show up at every practice and give it your all? Did you contribute to your team in some way? That's all that really matters.

And doesn't the feeling of mediocrity come from COMPARISON?

One of my all time favorite quotes is this:

 

(You can copy and download for free, from me!)

I will do an entire post on comparison someday, but for now just remember one thing. Just

STOP IT

(The wise words of Dieter Uchtdorf.)

You can't be mediocre if you're only comparing your efforts to your own prior efforts.

Ask yourself if you are improving. Have you spent time and effort working on that particular skill? Did you give it your all? Then that is AWESOME, not mediocre.

This goes right along with what I have learned from Brene Brown (have you read her? She is life-changing. I'm forever in your debt, Ms. Robyn, for pointing me in her direction!) about perfectionism. As Brene says, be an aspiring good-enoughist. Focus on yourself and your desire to do your best. Know that EVERYONE struggles--we all feel inadequate from time to time. It is part of the shared human experience.

I realized recently that being mediocre can be a gift. On the kids' report cards, there is a section that is based on habits and traits where grades of E for Excellent and S for Satisfactory are given. For example, cooperation and courtesy are evaluated. The very first semester, we've noticed that the kids don't get all E's or S+'s; versus the end of the year, where the teachers seem to be more generous in giving out those high marks. Why is this? Because they want to give each kid (no matter how excellent they are) room to improve. They want them to strive--to really earn those marks. If the student feels like they are already awesome with their work habits, they might decide it's OK to let things slide every once in awhile. They won't have any goal worth achieving.

You always need a goal, and you always need to find ways to improve--but improve for your own satisfaction and not the adoration of others.

Also, think of those who have achieved great success very early in life or on their first try. What happens after the initial huge success is that nothing else they do can measure up. (At least in the eyes of the public.) Think of Stephanie Meyer and how nothing she writes can ever beat Twilight. That would make it impossible for her to ever even have the desire to write, knowing that she would be judged so harshly. Or think of Justin Beiber ... ... um never mind. But looking at success this way makes you appreciate having to work so hard and really struggle, doesn't it?

Give yourself permission to be mediocre. Put all your best effort into the things that really matter--family, faith and friends. Give others the permission to be mediocre, knowing that unrealistic expectations of them can lead to burnout and anxiety. Be more accepting of things AS THEY ARE, not as you want them to be. Most of all, remember that: 

Your personal success can only be measured with a yard stick; not a tape measure that stretches between yourself and others.

Do you have experiences with learning to be more accepting of yourself and your shortcomings? Do you have any thoughts about embracing mediocrity that you'd like to share?

Thank you for letting me talk my way through this topic: it has helped my change my perspective!

And, I've been dying to read a beautiful work of fiction. Something that is delicious and captivating and inspiring. Have you read anything good lately? Do share!

Hugs!