I have BIG, EXCITING NEWS!!!
Actually, it's not really big nor exciting, but I just wanted you to think you were in for a real treat this week. My news is this: I updated my website, so now it includes a link to Reign of Trees and it also includes an updatedish bio about me. And that is so not exciting, because in general I'm about as boring as a can of latex paint. (And watching a can of latex paint is even more boring that watching paint dry.)
As you will see when you read my bio on lorifolkman.com (once again, that website is lorifolkman.com) I wasted a sentence or two talking about absolutely nothing. It's almost as if I like to type just for the sake of hearing myself type, which is odd considering I'm not someone who will talk just because I like to hear my own voice. It's more like I have a hard time being brief and precise when I write, which makes it nearly impossible for me to write book synopses and the dreaded author bio.
Do you guys read the author bios at the end of books? I usually read those before I ever read the book (but I never go to the last page of the book and read that! Cough, cough, Jenna). I always want to get a feel for the author before I start his/her book; for example if they graduated from Harvard Magna Cum Laude, I might put the book down and save it for a day that my
When I first entered the world of publishing, I thought how cool it would be to have someone write an author bio for you and see it appear on the back flap of a book--but oh no, that's not how it goes. Most authors have to write their own bios and not only that, you have to write them in 3rd Person, which is always awkward. And while the one on my website is an extended bio, the one at the back of my books is just a few short paragraphs--so not only do you have to give your audience a feel for who you are, you have to do it quickly. No one cares where you were born, when you took your first steps, when you learned to say "That monkey stole my banana," etc, etc, etc. And here's the clincher--you have to make yourself sound exciting even if you live in Montana and only step out of your cave on Sundays when you go to teach Sunday School.
So ... guess what your challenge is this week? You are going to write an author bio for YOU! (And you are going to share with us, of course.) You may change it to show what past schooling, events, mishaps have prepared you for your current hobby or profession or prison sentence so that it reads like a brief resume, but as always, you must be nice to yourself! And you must sell yourself (but without wearing a miniskirt and fishnets, because ... well, no need for because because you all know why!) and you must write in 3rd Person.
I can't wait to see what you guys come up with! It will be brilliant like always, and it will make me think, "why am I an author ... these guys should be the ones doing the writing!" So go ahead, make me feel inferior! I dare you! (But don't go overboard on the exclamation marks like I just did! OK?!)
14 comments:
Nicole Jessop was raised in Western Montana where she discovered the outdoors to be a sanctuary from this crazy, hectic world. She graduated Brigham Young University- Idaho with a bachelor's in Early Childhood/ Special Education.
Nicole married a studly helicopter pilot in May 2010 and they are excitedly expecting their princess to join them in June 2013. They also have two dogs, a shih tzu named Chalco and a tazmanian devil masquerading as a labrador retriever named Gibbs.
Some of Nicole's favorite things include cooking, camping, watching NCIS, and spending time outdoors with Steve.
I had to write something similar for myself once when I was going to be a featured singer at a certain concert. It was a little awkward because I knew the audience would be used to reading lists of "real" experience and qualifications, when I was actually not much more than aspiring to SOMEDAY be "up and coming". But I think I managed to come up with a pretty good blurb, for a beginner.
Here's my stab at a back flap:
Jennifer Elkins Lovell was born in Waynesboro, Virginia, and has lived in several states all over the country. With her husband now employed as a university professor in Pennsylvania, she feels excited to finally see what it feels like to let her roots grow and "settle down".
Jennifer never dreamed of becoming a writer, and always thought English was one of her toughest subjects in school, but ironically she has been a consistent journal-writer since she was six years old. It is because of those journals that she now feels she has stories inside her that want to be told.
Apart from her newly discovered love of writing, Jennifer loves to play racquetball, perform as a classical singer, hold babies, watch romantic films, and get creative with paper and rubber stamps. She believes that every opportunity to be creative and expressive is a gift.
Now I'm off to check out your new website : )!
Nicole: did Steve pay you to use the adverb "studly"? I loved the line about your dogs. I think we have Taz's sister. She's 2 and still naughty. What the heck is up with that? Maybe I can send her to your house and she can keep Gibbs company.
Jenna: it's about time you settled down, you wandering heart you! :)I can't believe you've been keeping a journal since you were six! That's incredible. And I bet your handwriting is picture perfect on every page too. Did you know I only like my handwriting when I use a mechanical pencil? And they're not the best for journal writing. Do you think I should have added that little factoid to my bio? It is riveting,is it not?
He didn't! I've always liked calling him stud because of ST(even B)UD. And I can hardly handle one naughty dog at a time :) sorry!
I don't have enought brain power to come up with something, much less something funny and you know I really aspire to be funny, but I'm not, especially when I'm trying. I'd be a horrible author, just look at that run-on sentence. I like your new web site, it looks great and your author bio is interesting, inviting all that good stuff. But I remember you having an author bio with one of your unpublished books that I read a few years ago and it was really funny. You should share that with us!
Nicole: Look how clever you are! Or should we say his parents are the clever ones for giving him that name? Or should we say his grandpa is clever for being the first Bud and ultra stud? Or ... ok, I'll stop now.
bigskyboys: I only vaguely remember saying something about working on a dairy farm in Hawaii. I was much goofier back then. Want me to write yours for you? It would include the phrase: "Amy is so concerned about the healthiness of her friends that she cuts them fresh lemons for their water when they are too lazy to do so themselves." And, "She will soon be opening a bakery, featuring her world-famous enormous sticky buns."
Paulashawn left paradise to wager with a pair of dice in the wilds of Nevada. Despite her brown surroundings, paulashawn is in love with her rural life in the shadow of the beautiful Sierra Nevadas, where she restores herself regularly with her family and friends by hiking, biking, snowshoeing, and kayaking.
Paulashawn is a simple girl who delights in connecting with others and learning how they navigate the unexpected turns on the journey of life. She is fascinated with human behavior and is astounded with humankind's ability to move onward and upward and to make beauty from ashes as people move closer to Christ and embrace the healing power of the Atonement.
If I was really concerned for your good health, I would have just brought you lemon slices. Instead I corrupted you with enormous sticky buns so you have to have lemon slices in water for the next 48 hrs to keep the caloric balance in harmony! I should be on that lemon slice/water diet for the next 96 hrs but no, I went out to lunch to further the trench I am digging this week.
Paulashawn:Janice is said it best when she said that it is hard to comment after Paulashawn (weird that we call you that although your other half has never made an appearance on the blog.)because everything else pales in comparison. But that is extra painful for me because I was born after you! No wonder why I never feel adequate. Should that be a blog topic? The many ways Lori doesn't measure up to her awesome big sister? (Who, BTW, has never been mean since reaching adulthood.)
Bigskyboys: I already had enormous sticky buns to begin with--booyah! At least we are in that trench together sistah! We should have gone walking after lunch--could you believe how warm it got? (Drip, drip, slush, slush.)
Heather was born and raised in beautiful western Montana. Following tge love of her life to Utah , she settled in the baron wasteland to raise her four adventuring children. Heather has dabbled in writing, singing, painting, cooking and currently enjoying the aromas of oil treatments.
Heather: I think Brigham Young would be offended if he knew you called Utah a barren wasteland! But I won't tell if you won't tell. I didn't know you dabbled int paining. Did you paint the whole house or just a few walls? ha ha. I would like to enjoy an oil treatment right now--when can you come for a visit?
I coulda sworn I commented on this!
Devree: I saw your comment in my inbox, but it never showed up on the blog. I thought maybe you deleted it and would come back and post it again, but nothing! Your words got lost in cyper-space! :(
Bummer! Not cool! Well, at least YOU saw that I commented.
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