There's a topic that I've wanted to discuss for a long time, but then I chicken out because I don't want everyone thinking that I'm morbid. Or that I have a death wish. But I'm not going to worry about that anymore. Today, we are going to talk about death.
I don't know why I worry that it's such a taboo topic. We all die eventually. I guess it's the worry that the eventually might be sooner rather than later. But have you ever wondered how you would live your life differently if you knew you might not live to be a ripe old age? (Which age is considered ripe BTW? I am getting sun spots on my face. Bananas get spots when they go ripe. Does that mean I am beginning to "ripen?")
I spoke with a woman once who had become a second wife and a step-mother to a large family after their mother had lost a long bout with cancer. The woman said it was difficult to become a part of their household because they were accustomed to neglecting day-to-day details and focusing more on the fun, happy things of life. Housework, for example, was not a priority because the terminally ill mother didn't want to waste her time cleaning when she could be playing with her kids instead. That's interesting, because I think if I knew I was dying, I would clean my house more. I wouldn't want to pass away and then have people come clean up my mess. And I would worry that after I was gone, those left behind would grumble that I didn't know how to properly get rid of hard water stains. Isn't that silly?
If I knew my time was limited, I hope I would be more inclined to just sit and visit with people instead of worrying about all the stuff that needs done. I hope I would play with my children more. I hope I would be more focused and not get distracted by texting and the internet. I hope I would worry less about superficial things like how to get longer eyelashes and how to get rid of cellulite. I hope I would be less concerned about what others were thinking of my actions. I hope I would be more compassionate and I hope I would give of my heart more freely.
And on the fun side, if I knew my time was limited, I would want to go whitewater rafting. I would stay in the sun as long as I wanted without worrying about wrinkles and skin cancer. I would jump on the trampoline instead of fixing dinner. I would rent an RV and travel across America, visiting family and long lost friends and seeing the beauty of God's creations. I would have dentures put it so I could chew all the ice I wanted. I would get all my family photos put in scrapbooks for each of my children so they could have lasting memories. I would stay up late every night so I could finish writing all the books I want to write, and would hope that my words would be a treasure to everyone left behind. I would laugh, hug, love.
How would your life be different if you knew the Grim Reaper was hanging out just outside your door? (You wouldn't be reading my blog today, that's for sure!) What would you worry more about? What things would no longer be a stress or a concern to you?
If you have some extra time this week, you need to watch this. It's touching and inspiring. My son's 5th grade class has been following Zack's story this year and my son and one of his friends are singing "Fix Me Up" at the school talent show today. I love how the internet makes it possible for people we've never even met to touch our lives. Let's all take his words to heart: "You don't have to be dying to start living."
10 comments:
I think I would visit New Zealand, then move back to Montana and spend all of the rest of my days driving around in the mountains and camping and fishing. Simple and perfect. Unless it was winter.... then I'd find somewhere warm to hang out instead. Maybe in front of a wood stove.... and a hot springs resort? I think I could handle that.
A good friend of mine once said (quite recently): "I love how the internet makes it possible for people we've never even met to touch our lives." (sound familiar?) So, if I knew my time was limited, I would make that next cross-country trip right away and give my friend Lori a hug. Still haven't met her, and I would hate to miss out on that! We'd have to spend a day hanging out in our pjs and giving her kids foods that they can feed themselves with, and we'd talk about books and writing and movies and crushes. Oh, and maybe we'd even mention our husbands ;).
I'd also kind of like to see Hawaii and Australia, and England, and Spain one more time. I'd take my parents with me on those trips, if they wanted to go. And my sisters. And then I'd come back and spend a day playing baseball with my brothers.
I'd give my kids each 24 hours to be the boss of everything we do. That would be a good time. We'd take lots of pictures, and I'd make a photo book of all four days. I'd make 5 copies of the book, one for each of us.
I'd also call my old best friend from high school and see if I could get myself some closure on that terrible misconception he has about where Mormons go after this life, and I'd tell him that I still love him, no matter what.
Now you've got me all choked up! But not in a bad way :).
Nicole: sounds perfect, especially because you'd be closer to me! Would you go glamping? I'm thinking I should build a glamping retreat in my backyard.
Jenna: I'm honored that you would come all the way out here to meet little ol' me! But now I'm worried: if you do come here, does that mean something bad is going to happen? Your last paragraph made me think of a better question: after you die, is there someone you would want to come back and haunt? :)
I'd quit school first thing, go to the Jonas Brothers' concert I REALLY want to go to if I make it to August 14th, see all my family, draw more, read the scriptures more, keep a better journal, watch all the Bones episodes that were ever made. I'd go to England, Disney world, Cars Land, Harry Potter World, Magic Mountain, I'd go to Hawaii again.
One of my biggest dreams is being a mom but I wouldn't be able to accomplish that within a few months; get married only to leave him, I wouldn't be able to carry a child the whole term so that's an irrational thing to accomplish.
Asking this question is kind of transporting me to a time where I wasn't sure how long I'd live, where I actually thought about this. And thinking that I'd never get to be a mother here on Earth makes me cry just as much as it did when they told me I have a very low chance of conceiving at all. There's so much I want to accomplish still and I just can't even think about no longer living anymore. I just can't.
Devree: You make-a me cry-o! (I'm speaking with an Italian accent right now, because Italian's are passionate people!) You make me realize how much more I need to treasure every moment of motherhood --even the epic battle that is waged every morning while trying to get a particular teenager out of bed. :) I'm so touched that being a mother is the one thing in life you long for. I wish more girls out in the world had your perspective Devree! I will now give you a big kiss on each cheek. Mwah! Mwah! And I will promise not to blog such heartrending topics any more!
Its interesting that this is your post because I have been thinking along these same lines a lot lately...
If I knew that my time was short I would want to cross some things off of my bucket list. I'd want to go to Italy, and Hawaii.
I would try to be more kind, loving , and forgiving. I would play with my kids more. We'd go on more family bike rides and family hikes, movies nights, lots of snuggling and build as many memories as a family as we could cram into our short time. (hopefully happy memories) I'd write a letter to each of my kids telling them how I feel about each of them and where I see them going in life. I'd also write a letter to my husband and threaten to haunt him if he tried to move on too quickly :)
grammargeekseverywhere: yes, I did add an apostrophe to Italians. Forgive me?
Anne: I think you need to amend your last sentence: you would haunt him if he EVER moved on. :) Now THAT is an interesting topic. I would want someone better than me and who had strengths in all the areas where I have weaknesses, but she would also need to be as homely as Sid the Sloth and she would need to be a bad kisser! Is that too much to ask for? I hope we get to see your cute family this summer: we would like to go on bike rides and hikes and snuggle with you too!
This one really made me think. I'm still not sure, I'm not sure you'd really know unless you were in that position. I would take my family to Hawaii and bring my niece along (or maybe you'd like to accompany us)to babysit when Austin & I wanted to do somethings without the kiddies. Couldn't leave them at home if I'm dying! Hopefully I'd stop raising my voice and just simply love them more, because really if I'm dying I will no longer be responsible for what kind of adults they turn into so whatever. NMP! But I'm sure I'd worry whether or not I've taught them enough. Really, this is depressing and laden with guilt so I'm stopping now. I'm looking forward to Paulashawns inspiring words.
Super flattering, Bigskyboys! And I had the most beautiful comment ever this morning, but it wouldn't post. And now it's gone. That's my mind for you.
I would live more like Devree does. Devree greets every day with a smile, every person with a smile, and makes a positive comment about everything. But I'll need to live to be 150 or so, because I think that's how long it will take me to develop that trait. You are THE BEST, Devree!
Essentially, there is a death to my mothering of young kids that will be here all too soon. We only get our kids as kids for such a short time. I want to love the moments more. I want to stop, look and listen to them. I need to live the way #3 wants me to live, "Can we not be so busy?"
I want to make sure that no matter what happens, they never get angry at God, because he is their loving Heavenly Father. He has a beautiful plan and we can only see a tiny segment of it. It all makes sense to Him and EVERYTHING is for our good, even when it hurts or doesn't make sense to us. I want to make sure to teach my kids that He knows and provides the most important things for us and that He's always there for us. When we turn to Him we access the most powerful force in the universe. Please don't ever turn your back to it!
I think skin cancer will get me. But should I stop doing what I want to do before I die so that I don't catch my death?
bigskyboys: If your days were limited, I hope you would take a 2 hour walk with your friend and then take your kids to DQ for dinner. Or maybe you don't have to be dying to do that ... you could just do it anyway! :)
Paulashawn: 1. Since you won't be around next week to give us your divine insights, the only safe topic I can introduce is ... Jello and its many uses. 2. My only hope for raising my children is that I get them all to adulthood without ever having to spend the night in the mental hospital. Am I doing something wrong? 3. It's called sunscreen. Get some. 4. Agreed, Devree is THE best!
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