The Gift of Music

Happy Holidays!

Are you guys enjoying the season thus far?

I feel more Christmassy than ever, and I attribute it to our awesome new tradition: THE NUTCRACKER.

This is Bean's second year participating in it, and I have fallen in love with the magical story, the beauty of ballet, and the MUSIC.

The music from the Nutcracker is among the most easily identifiable Christmas music, but I'd never heard it in its entirety. It is lovely and I could listen to it over and over again. It makes me happy.

Which brings me to this thought:

Nothing changes my mood more completely, or quickly, than MUSIC.

I know I have mentioned it before, like here, but I feel like music is one of the greatest gifts from God. I also believe that the music you listen to can determine your destiny.

Have you ever thought about that?

The lyrics and rhythm in the music you select influence your thoughts, and thoughts then turn to action.

If you are listening to lyrics which are riddled with profanities and promote one night stands, binge drinking, drugs and violence, guess what thoughts will be in your head?

That makes you want to check your teenager's iTunes library, doesn't it?

 I don't propose that you only let your kids listen to MoTab, but make sure they are introduced to good music at a young age. Teach them to understand how different types music make them feel, and as they grow they will be able to choose uplifting music for themselves. I also think it's important to embrace they music they listen to, as it gives you something to talk about and bond over. I love nothing more than when one of the kids say, "Mom, listen to this new song!" Music can unite your family.

With the hectic pace of the holiday season, as well the overabundance of materialism, if you want your home and your heart to be filled with peace, might I suggest cranking up the Christmas music? There's fun and fluffy Christmas music, but there is also beautiful, inspired Christmas music that makes your spine tingle--that is the stuff that should be blaring from your speakers.

I'm sure I've shared it before, but I'll share it again, just because it is THE AWESOMEST OF AWESOME. This song will get rid of Grinchyness quick!

And I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but will you try watching The Nutcracker? Here is a link to an absolutely amazing performance in Russia. I know it's long, but turn it on while you are baking cookies or wrapping gifts and get a glympse of it every once in awhile. The first part--the Party Scene--isn't as fun and as "dancy" as the rest, so if you want to start it at 40:00, you'll see the best stuff from then on. We've been watching/listening to it almost daily ever since finishing out local Nutcracker. Yes: even my boys will watch it. Which, BTW, my 2nd oldest participated as an extra in our Nutcracker and loved every second of it.

I heard something once about how just listening to music can inspire and invoke creative thoughts, but the effect is quadrupled when one PARTICIPATES in music. How can you participate if you are unmusical--like me? You can sing along, even if it's not on key! I've always admired people who have the guts to belt it out, no matter what their voice sounds like. You can also participate by dancing. This is something I don't do nearly enough (although my family might think that me dancing once a year is PLENTY). Brene Brown says, "I can measure the spiritual health of my family by how much dancing is happening in our kitchen." That sounds like a fun, happy family, and that's something we all long for. Give it a try!

Since I'm always on the lookout for something new to listen to: can you share with us your favorite Christmas music?  Do you also want to tell us about how music has influenced your life? Or anything else musical you want to share? And will you accept my challenge to watch the Nutcracker? (Your heads should be bobbing yes right now. That's also the start of your dance party. Keep nodding. Now add your shoulders. Now your feet should be tapping too ...)

I Wish ...

Most of you probably know that my baby girl (who isn't such a little girl anymore, even though I keep telling her to stop growing up. Kids never listen!) has Type 1 Diabetes. Since November is Diabetes Awareness Month, I thought I'd take a moment to tell you what I wish everyone, including many medical professionals, knew about diabetes. Since I'm not comfortable with putting my children's full names on the internet, we shall refer to my daughter as Bean, even though she hates that nickname. :)

I wish everyone knew, and then remembered, the different types of diabetes.

Type 1 is an autoimmune disease. There is nothing that can be done to prevent Type 1, meaning that it WAS NOT caused by poor diet and a sedentary lifestyle. In Type 1, the pancreas no longer produces insulin, therefore a diabetic must always inject insulin, even if they were on a low carb diet. Someone with Type 1 can eat everything that is a part of a normal healthy diet, including fruit and sweets. We don't restrict what Bean eats; we want her to feel like every other child out there. However, certain sugary things like soda pop and candy leave her system before the insulin does, which can lead to low blood sugars, so we do avoid those as much as possible, but so should everyone!

Bean WILL NOT grow out of Type 1. Until there is a cure, Type 1 is with you for LIFE. Type 1 can also develop in adulthood, as my sister-in-law found out this past year. This is called Adult Onsest (technically LADA) and the progression is slower than when Type 1 develops in children, which means patients will not need to inject as much insulin. Some people are calling LADA Type 1.5, and it is often misdiagnosed as Type 2. If the recently-diagnosed adult is within a healthy weight and lives a healthy lifestyle, it is most likely LADA.

While Bean wears an insulin pump so she doesn't have to do several injections per day, she does still have to poke her fingers to check her blood sugar about 8 times per day. The insulin pump has a small cannula that goes under her skin, but not into a vein, and this needs changed every 3 days, which means yet another poke. Poor Bean is a pincushion. (But don't feel sorry for her; she hates being fussed over!)

She wears her insulin pump in a SpiBelt, which works perfectly for us. She puts it around her waist and it stays hidden under her clothes. I'm working with her to feel more comfortable showing her pump, but she's not ready to be as bold as Miss Idaho, who started the social media campaign #showmeyourpump   

Sierra Sanderson bravely wore her pump attached to her bikini bottom during the Miss Idaho swimuit competition, stating that "We all have something that doesn't 'measure up' to the beauty standards set by the media--and that is okay! It does not make you any less beautiful."

Other lucky Type 1ers have Continuous Glucose Monitoring Systems (CGM), which gives you a constant reading of your blood sugar, giving you better control of your diabetes. It will warn you of low blood sugars, which can prevent you from passing out, but our insurance says that a CGM is not a medical necessity. Whatevs. The drawback is that it requires another weekly poke, as well as a transmitter that sticks to your skin. It's not a perfect solution, but it's something.

Nick Jonas showing his CGM. Just so you know that he's not posing like this to show off his 6 pack: CGMs and Insulin Pumps are most commonly inserted on the stomach or upper buttocks. Be grateful he put it on his stomach for this photoshoot. Ha.

Next up:

Type 2 is most the most common kind of diabetes, and it is mostly found in adults. Their bodies still produce insulin, but the insulin is no longer effect due to years of overuse (making your body produce ample amounts of insulin to cover the carbs your body is eating, and then not burning off through exercise.) Type 2 CAN be managed through diet and exercise, but if oral medications and a lifestyle change don't work, insulin injections will be needed. Someone with Type 2 will not eat high carb foods, including many fruits. It is because of Type 2 that we have "jokes" like "I just opened a can of diabetes."

People with Type 2 do not need your judgement. They do not need your criticism. They do not need "I told you so." They need compassion. They need understanding.

Don't we all do things that we know aren't good for us? 

You don't know what physical limitations, injuries, mental illness, or other challenges they may have. 

What they need is your support and friendship. Instead of saying, "Oh yeah, you can't eat this" and then eating cheesecake in front of them, you should follow their lead and restrict some of your indulgences too. Start an exercise program with them and help them stick to it. Buy them a dog so they have to take the dog for daily walks. (Maybe ask for permission first.)

It is good to know that, with your help and their motivation, Type 2 doesn't have to mean poor quality of life and severe medical complications. It doesn't have to be an epidemic.

I'm not going to go into Gestational Diabetes since this post is already PLENTY long. But wait! I'm not done! There's more!

I wish you knew what the symptoms of diabetes are so that you can be an advocate for your loved ones when you feel that something isn't right. Medical professionals can miss the signs and not diagnosis it quick enough, as we saw in a tragic case out of Utah this past year. Our doctor, too, did not diagnosis it, and instead thought that Bean had something wrong with her kidneys. I knew he was wrong and went out and bought a meter and checked her blood sugar myself. It's so simple to check blood sugars; why isn't it done more frequently? You should check blood sugar if you/ your loved one has:

•  "Fruity" smelling breath

• Frequent urination

• Unquenchable thirst

• Rapid weight loss

• Fatigue

• Nausea

I personally think every family should have a meter to check blood sugars occasionally. They are cheap (test strips aren't cheap, however, but you don't need many) and it doesn't hurt to know your blood sugar range. (It doesn't hurt figuratively; literally, it does hurt, but just a little.) You should run somewhere between about 70-130, depending on how recently you have eaten.

I wish you knew that people with Type 1 can do anything, accomplish anything, and be anything. Movie stars, ballerinas, skiers, basketball players: you name it! Type 1 is not a death sentence: you can live a normal, long, healthy life!

I wish you knew how lucky we are to have found THE BEST medical support staff that can be found anywhere, even though we live in a small community. Finding medical professionals who specialize in diabetes, not just endocrinology, makes all the difference in the world.

I wish you knew how brave and tough Bean is. She never complains. She never lets it stop her. She never makes a fuss when she's weak and shaky from a low blood sugar. She just quietly eats her snack and then goes back to being an active, healthy kid. She doesn't let her diabetes define her.

I wish you knew what a difference it makes seeing other people courageously live with diabetes. When Bean was diagnosed (just before her 4th birthday), I was not scared and worried because I had seen my sister calmly, successfully, and diligently learn how to care for her son, who was diagnosed with diabetes when he was just 18 months old. A positive attitude makes a huge difference!

I wish you knew that even though I would never wish an illness on anyone, Bean's diabetes gives us time to connect, grow together, and learn compassion for others who struggle with challenges. You can find beauty in every trial if you only look.

I wish you knew that remarkable advances toward The Cure are made every year. We are excited about the future. You can help by donating to the JDRF. Click here to find out more. 

The Gift of Mediocrity

I had a different post halfway written, but this subject kept nagging me. I hesitate to write about it because I don't feel that I have yet overcome this particular obstacle in my life, but then I realized that maybe that's why I need to write about it--the best way to fully understand something is through explaining it to others.

So join me as I learn about ... MEDIOCRITY! 

I have ofttimes felt like I'm cursed to live a life of mediocrity. I have always had a desire to rise up and achieve greatness--in some form or another--but everything I do seems to just be so so.

So so book sales, so so hits on my blog, so so athletic abilities, so so conversation skills, so so grades in school, and so on and so on on the so so.

It also pains me to see my children suffer from so so ness. "Why doesn't the coach play me more?" "Why didn't I get a bigger role?" "Why didn't I get the best grade?"

Being mediocre is better than feeling like a failure (I've been there too. Ugh), but it's still not what we aspire to, right?

Since we aspire to do more--to BE more--it's understandable that not meeting your own expectations can bring on frustration.

What I'm about to say is going to be revolutionary ...

It's time to lower your expectations.

No one ever says that! In fact, you are told to always do your best. I agree, do YOUR best. But let go of the expectation to do someone else's best.

So what if you aren't the star player on the middle school basketball team? Did you try hard? Did you show up at every practice and give it your all? Did you contribute to your team in some way? That's all that really matters.

And doesn't the feeling of mediocrity come from COMPARISON?

One of my all time favorite quotes is this:

 

(You can copy and download for free, from me!)

I will do an entire post on comparison someday, but for now just remember one thing. Just

STOP IT

(The wise words of Dieter Uchtdorf.)

You can't be mediocre if you're only comparing your efforts to your own prior efforts.

Ask yourself if you are improving. Have you spent time and effort working on that particular skill? Did you give it your all? Then that is AWESOME, not mediocre.

This goes right along with what I have learned from Brene Brown (have you read her? She is life-changing. I'm forever in your debt, Ms. Robyn, for pointing me in her direction!) about perfectionism. As Brene says, be an aspiring good-enoughist. Focus on yourself and your desire to do your best. Know that EVERYONE struggles--we all feel inadequate from time to time. It is part of the shared human experience.

I realized recently that being mediocre can be a gift. On the kids' report cards, there is a section that is based on habits and traits where grades of E for Excellent and S for Satisfactory are given. For example, cooperation and courtesy are evaluated. The very first semester, we've noticed that the kids don't get all E's or S+'s; versus the end of the year, where the teachers seem to be more generous in giving out those high marks. Why is this? Because they want to give each kid (no matter how excellent they are) room to improve. They want them to strive--to really earn those marks. If the student feels like they are already awesome with their work habits, they might decide it's OK to let things slide every once in awhile. They won't have any goal worth achieving.

You always need a goal, and you always need to find ways to improve--but improve for your own satisfaction and not the adoration of others.

Also, think of those who have achieved great success very early in life or on their first try. What happens after the initial huge success is that nothing else they do can measure up. (At least in the eyes of the public.) Think of Stephanie Meyer and how nothing she writes can ever beat Twilight. That would make it impossible for her to ever even have the desire to write, knowing that she would be judged so harshly. Or think of Justin Beiber ... ... um never mind. But looking at success this way makes you appreciate having to work so hard and really struggle, doesn't it?

Give yourself permission to be mediocre. Put all your best effort into the things that really matter--family, faith and friends. Give others the permission to be mediocre, knowing that unrealistic expectations of them can lead to burnout and anxiety. Be more accepting of things AS THEY ARE, not as you want them to be. Most of all, remember that: 

Your personal success can only be measured with a yard stick; not a tape measure that stretches between yourself and others.

Do you have experiences with learning to be more accepting of yourself and your shortcomings? Do you have any thoughts about embracing mediocrity that you'd like to share?

Thank you for letting me talk my way through this topic: it has helped my change my perspective!

And, I've been dying to read a beautiful work of fiction. Something that is delicious and captivating and inspiring. Have you read anything good lately? Do share!

Hugs!

Back from the Dead

What's this? Is this a blog post? From yours truly? To what do you owe this punishment?

It's been a year since I last blogged. Have you been wondering what the heck happened?

So have I!

I never planned on quitting the blog; it just sort of happened. I felt like I was running out of things to say. And the things I did want to say were more of a serious nature, and I didn't quite know how to say them without sounding like a boring old lady.

I let one week lapse, then another; and before I knew it, months had gone by. Since blogging was no longer a priority, that designated writing time got gobbled up like Thanksgiving pie. Then guess what happened to my time for writing fiction? --It got Thanksgivinged too!

And when I am able to find time to sit and write a story, I sit and write nothing. I can't get the words to come.

I realized that the two are connected. Blogging helps me establish a writing routine. It helps me organize the thoughts that swirl constantly in my head. It helps me connect with others, which helps me feel happier and less isolated, which is inevitable when you spend lots of time with imaginary people who live in your head.

So I'm recommitting to blogging. I'll be here weekly. I'm thinking Wednesday or Thursday would be a good day to post, but I'm not ready to make that absolute commitment yet. (I can't get entirely rid of the flightiness that is a part of my nature, can I?)

WHAT WILL I BLOG ABOUT?

Who knows! Anything! Everything! I've decided not to stick to any one format or set niche. I'm just going to say whatever is in my head. And what has it been lately? Well, I've been doing lots of sole searching (I lost my shoes) (just kidding, I know it's SOUL searching), lots of learning, growing and developing. I've needed to find ways to be happy and feel successful, even though life is full of disappointments. I've needed to learn to be loving and accepting of myself, with all my flaws, shortcomings and failures. And that equates to being able to be more loving and accepting of others.

I hope to share some of what I have learned with you (and what I am still in the process of learning): meaning, this blog will be more heartfelt than ever before. And possibly less silly too, since it seems there's an overabundance of ways to waste time on the Internet. I hope to provide something more productive.

WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?

Absolutely nothing.

Unless I can say something inspiring/thought provoking every once in awhile. That would be nice.

I realize that the blogging movement has basically died; I personally haven't even checked up on any blogs for many months now. But I've decided that it doesn't matter if there isn't anyone left out in the blogisphere to talk to. I still want to talk. And that's all that matters. 

Oh no, wait. You matter too! Where are you? How are you? What have you been doing for an entire year? I hope you are happy and healthy! I have missed you, honestly, I have! Yes, you and you and you. And also you!

WILL YOU JOIN ME ON THIS NEW JOURNEY?

There's power in friendship, and together we can accomplish great things. I just know it. <3