Are you bored? Depressed? Anxious? Unmotivated? After-Christmas poor? Then you may be one of the roughly 1,000,000,001 people suffering from this fatal, and oftentimes deadly or lethal affliction.
But! Do not despair. There is help. For the low, low price of ... FREE ... I will tell you how to beat the blahs with one simple step. It's called laughter.
Laughter, given out in doses large or small, has been known to cure the blahs and has even been known to increase longevity, vitality, and improve well-being in general. Laughter should be taken several times a day for optimum effectiveness. Overdoses are not common but can include the following side effects: snorting, chortleing, becoming teary-eyed, and in severe cases, peeing. (It is always recommended to take your dose of laughter on an empty bladder.)
If you think you may be suffering from The Winter Blah's, please try the following samples, again, at no cost to you:
- The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn't even apply for a job.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
- What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
- Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters
"C Z W I X N O S T A C Z."
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
John gets a distressed phone call from his very blonde girlfriend Buffy.
"I've got a problem," says Buffy.
"What's the matter?" asks John.
"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks John.
"It's of a big rooster," replies Buffy.
"All right," says John. "I'll come over and have a look."
So he goes over to Buffy's house and she greets him by saying, "Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table.
John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, "For heaven's sake, Buffy, put the cornflakes back in the box."
OK, OK, we know that these weren't exactly LMHO, and only just slightly LOL. But we want to ease you into your medication slowly as to not cause any of the above side effects. (Also, slightly brain dead here.) But, since you're not out any money, there is no need for disappointment, right?
Obviously, we are facing a joke-shortage here at BlogAway Laugh Factory, so before we can cure the general public of Winter Blah-itis, we need your jokes. Keep them clean. Make them funny. I want to LSHMSH (laughsohardmystomachhurts). But not LSHIPD (youfigureitout).
So go ahead, MAKE ME LAUGH
***Due to the above-mentioned brain-deadedness, I am calling for submissions for guest-blog posts. You guys are all clever, funny, interesting gals (and now I have to say guys, thanks to you Steven) and we'd like to hear what y'all have to say. If you have an interesting/funny/thought-provoking topic you would like to see discussed here on BlogAway, write it up and email it to me at folksinmt@gmail.com. It would be a great way for us to get to know you better, plus point blog-traffic to your blog/ etsy shop/ etc. If you would like to donate the weekly prize, a la Wall Graffiti, that would be swell. But if not, oh well! (But it really is well to be swell!) LMK!
