Go see more pictures with Theo and Beau napping together here. It's the cutest.
Actually, sleeping period is the best gift on earth. That's why there's that Christmas song that says "Sleep on earth and goodwill to men."
Lest you think that this entire blog post is about sleeping, (because what could be more boring that discussing Lori's sleep habits?) let me assure you that ... it actually is!
So ... I was glad to see 2013 go. It was a "don't let the door hit you on your way out" kind of year. I embraced 2014 with open arms, thinking this was going to be my kind of year. And then ... four days into the new year, I crashed my suburban. Yep. And did I just do a little bit of damage? Oh no, I completely clobbered the driver's side: bumper to bumper. We're taking several thousand dollars worth of damage. Thankfully, we were not hurt and my little darlin had a guardian angel sitting next to her and wasn't cut when her window shattered. However, my morale got clobbered right along with the car. Seriously, we have THE WORST luck. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. I'm convinced that the Folkman family was cursed for not carrying Madame Zeroni up the mountain. So now I'm worried: maybe 2014 won't be such a great year. Maybe the bad luck will just go on and on and on and on ... and on.
These people don't have bad luck: they have good luck! Look at that: they are hanging by a thread! You don't get much luckier than that: unless you go to Reno and win mega millions. Do they give away mega millions in Reno, Paula and Janice? And have you guys ever won but are withholding it from me? We need to talk. Pronto.
I have decided to do the only thing any rational person (with such horrible misfortune) can do: go back to bed. For a looooong time. It only makes sense. Sleeping Beauty was always my favorite story as a child. Shouldn't I want to follow in the steps of my favorite princess?
BTW, I think I should do a modern telling of Sleeping Beauty, in first person narrative. It would have page after page like this: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Fascinating, no?
Going to sleep for years and years would have many benefits. Firstly, the curse should be lifted by the time I wake up. Secondly, there's this thing called beauty sleep and I'd be getting a LOT of it. Plus, I wouldn't be exposed to any harsh elements, like the sun, therefore I wouldn't be aging. In fact, I think I would be going in reverse. So if I sleep until 2024, I will be 50 when I wake up, but I'll look like I'm 29. Woot woot! Thirdly and lastly, I wouldn't be eating almonds so that would save me like 50 million dollars. I'm so doing this!
But, I will miss you guys. And when I wake up in 2024, I won't have a clue what's going on in the world. So tell me: what will the world be like in 2024? Who will be President of the United States of America? Will there still be a United States of America? What kind of cars will we be driving? Or flying? What clothes will we be wearing? Or not? What will we be watching on TV? Or will we be back to watching sunsets? And most importantly, what will be going on in your lives? What will you accomplish in the next 10 years? Tell me ALL about it! There is no such thing as TMI around here.
So ... it's 2024. Tell me what it's like. And I hope I don't have history's worst case of morning breath while you are talking to me. I'll search for a mint.
8 comments:
Lori, I guess this is why I haven't yet attempted to write fiction. I don't have good imaginations for such future scenarios...but I'll give it a whirl...
Hugh Jackman will be our new president. Sexiest president ever. I don't know what he'll stand for, but he'll do it all with his beautiful Australian accent, so it won't matter. (He can turn on his Americanese when needed so we'll remember his love four our country.)
No cars, just hovercrafts. I love that idea of hover-stuff, like in Back to the Future (II? III?).
What our world will NOT be like is what we see in the movie Wall-E...I really don't like that movie!! We will have a much better handle on the obesity epidemic :). We'll even have found a way for sugar to be "healthy" for us--yay!
Me? In 10 years I'll be 49, and I'll be asking you "So what's it like to have hit the big 5-0?" Laughing, 'cause I won't really understand how quickly my last days at 49 will fly.
I will have published 7 books, including my first fiction romance, whose hero will be a combination of all of the guys I ever dated mashed up into one. And the heroine will be a fictional me, who will love being married to the best romantic and perfect man in the history of fiction :). Oh, and we'll have perfect kids together, too, who make motherhood seem like there's no need to dream about heaven. Ha!
Oh, and you and I will be next-door neighbors :). Or at least, in the summertime! (Montana has decent summers, right?)
Scary!! I am glad to hear that you guys are ok. I'm so sorry! What a crappy start to the year!
Here is my flash forward to 2024:
President: Chelsea Clinton...dun dun dun..... hopefully everything else will be looking up though.
If you take your 10 year nap wearing something from 2006, you will be stylishly in fashion.
With all of the new technology released on what seems to be a daily bases it's hard to predict how that will keep growing...but I'm hoping tele-porting can become a real thing? I'd love to teleport to Hawaii right about now.
Personally, I hope to get some schooling in and decide what I want to be when I grow up. 10 years should give me enough time to make that decision right? I will be 39 and inching closer to a trip to Italy (I am dreaming of going for my 40th birthday ) I hope I will be more patient, kind and forgiving. And funnier. I hope somehow I can develop the Rowley in the next 10 years :)
Jenna: consider yourself lucky that your imagination doesn't run amuck! I like your vote for Hugh, but that means you will need to start legislation for non-US born citizens to be allowed into office, and you'll need to get going on it right now: these things take time. It will consume most of your next decade. Fun for you! You completely depressed me by asking me about the big 5-0, so thanks for that. Yes, we will be neighbors in MT in the summertime, and the South of France in the wintertime. What fun we will have! Even at 50-ish!
Oops, my PUBLISH finger is twitchy lately: maybe because I haven't published a book in over a year. :(
Anne: hello! I like Jenna's vote for prez better, sorry. 2006 will be in style in 2024? Darn, 2004 was a much better fashion year. Oh well, ces't la vie. Teleporting would be the best. Maybe if the government stopped spending all their (our) money spying on us, they could pay scientists more to make this crucial discovery. Man, we are so messed up. I like your goals for yourself: but don't grow up. It's boring over here in grown up land.
Wow, you guys do have the worst luck! SO glad you're safe, what a blessing. We sure missed seeing you although we were pretty awful visitors- Steve had to fix a part on his truck and I ended up passing out with Brae on accident. :( Lame.
So, 2024.... Hopefully I'll have a couple more kids by then since my little darling will be 11 (WHAT?!) And, I don't know what everyone else will be driving, but I had better be flying around in a helicopter by then, dang it! I still hope NCIS will be on tv around then... and maybe they'll have gotten in a couple more episodes of Sherlock by then.
My pick for President.... John Wayne. Wait, what? What's that you say? He's not around anymore. Boo. Um... Can I vote in Mark Harmon then? A Gibbs-like Mark Harmon, that is. A silver fox and no nonsense, anti-political games attitude.
Nicole: we wouldn't have been that fun over the holidays either. Come to think of it, we're never that much fun. ;) How many seasons of NCIS will that be? Maybe you'll be hired on as a creative consultant. Or maybe you could win some sort of game show for knowing the most about NCIS out of anyone anywhere. I could vote for Mark Harmon, but wouldn't the country be so much more fun if someone like Richard Simmons was prez? He'd be the first president to do the State of the Union speech in shorts. Historic!
2024- Wow how time flies when you're sleeping! Lori, you'll be pleased to know you, through your wonderful parenting skills before your nap, managed to have 4 boys on missions. Three now back married and holding real jobs. Sweet Joelle is planning on going to dental school so she can take care of your teeth when you're old (like 80, none of this 50 is old business). I think you've a a doctor coming along, a car sales man, a broadway star, and a builder. All of your needs will be taken care of as you age, you luck girl. Life is getting good for you and Matt these days.
The country is finally turning around, Matt Walsh is president, congress all got voted out and we're starting over.
Happy New Year! Here's to some great luck coming your way in 2014.
bigskyboys: thank you for calling it a nap instead of complete loss of vivacity. Or something like that. I'm glad that children have turned out well and none of them have landed in jail. Phew, that is a relief! There's so much to look forward to after all! And Matt Walsh for president? HECK YA! Best one yet. Should we start campaigning right now?
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