Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Pick Your No's



No.

Two of the most offensive letters in the English language.


No matter what the question, typically a piece of your heart is attached—from the time you are a small child until the day you die.

Can I have some ice cream?

Can I have a sleep over?

Can I have a puppy?

Did I make the cheerleading squad?

Can I get up off the bench and play in the game, coach?

Can I buy a car?

Will you go out with me?

Will you marry me?

Will you have my child?

Will you babysit my child so I can have a dang break?

Can I have a job?

Did I win the lottery?

Will you publish my book?

Can I buy a red convertible?

Can I buy an RV?

Can I buy a casket?

Do you see how many opportunities are out there to have your hopes and dreams destroyed? Endless. It’s a wonder we ever even muster up the courage to ask for a glass of water.

Disappointment is a part of life, but that doesn’t mean we should be too afraid to reach for the stars.



Since we’ve had two weeks of being open and honest, let’s continue on that vein, shall we?

Let me tell you the painful truth: every time I write something new (yes,even a blog post), I have a momentary panic attack. What if they hate it? What if they think I’m stupid? What if they think I’m nuttier than my monthly almond stash (which is NUTTY)?  But then I take a deep breath and tell myself to get over it. If I like it, have learned something in the process and have done the best job I know how, well then, I’ve done enough. Stressing about acceptance takes away the joy of the journey.

So if you hyperventilate every time you think about a certain task which would put you out of your comfort zone, my advice to you is this: take a deep breath, and then just do it. If it’s something you are passionate about, don’t let your fears take away the joy of learning, growing, sharing.

Is your fear of failure keeping you from accomplishing something great? What is it? Will you tell us what is keeping you from following a dream?

And do you know what helps? Cheerleaders. Think about the long tradition of having a group of girls standing at the sidelines of a game, urging their team to triumph. Everyone needs to have someone on their side, cheering and shaking their pompoms (or their booty, whatever the case may be) to encourage them to reach their goals.


You guys are my cheerleaders. I’m a super lucky gal. It does wonders to have people you can trust to encourage and uplift. So let me be there for you, OK? 

Are you too afraid to switch jobs? Go back to school? Ask out that cute boy you keep seeing in the library? Try out for community theatre? Take a Zumba class? Walk and chew gum at the same time? TELL US ABOUT IT. We will laugh at you. Oh goodness, there's a typo in that last sentence. We will NOT laugh at you. One of us might not be tall enough to reach for the stars, but if we all stand together, we can reach great heights! 

Share, share, share!

(P.S. This is the last post of the month. The prize winner will be announced next Tuesday.)

6 comments:

Nicole Jessop said...

I am a little afraid to quit my job. Mostly because even if we're doing fine, it would scare me to not have that financial stability. But I told Steve that I am quitting after next year, so everything needs to be ready for that. I hate leaving my baby every day. And the cost of daycare is ridiculous. So I'll take the leap to that dream in a year!

Lori Folkman said...

Nicole: you can do it! You can quit! There's a patch you can adhere to your skin and it will wipe away all thoughts of steady income and benefits. The patch also works telepathically with debt collectors so they will forget the money you owe them and never call you! It's exactly what you need. But the patch will set you back a few thousand. Send check to I CAN QUIT! C/O Lori Folkman, PO Box 555, Mytown, MT. and you will be on your way to freedom!

LStevens said...

I am petrified of going back to school...have thought about doing it a million times, and then nope...not happening! I still have dreams about being in school and not being able to find my classrooms or my locker or remember the combination. Is that sad or what? I know I need to feed my faith, and my fears will starve to death, but that is not always an easy thing to do.
Now you know the deep dark secrets of Lisa. :-)

Lori Folkman said...

LStevens: Do it! If you time it just right, you can go to college with both your daughters! How cool would that be? And what a great example to encourage them to pursue life-long learning! Maybe you're having the dreams about high school because your subconscious soul just wants to be back in school so bad. As long as there aren't werewolves or zombies in your high school dreams, I would think that it means something positive. Do it! Do you need a courage patch as well? I'll give you the same offer I gave Nicole above. You can use a student load to pay for the patch. ;)

Jennifer Lovell said...

I think this is an awesome topic, but one that I've had to think really hard about.

The first thing that comes to my mind is something that I'm afraid to do...but I don't necessarily want you to encourage me to do it! I'm afraid to look for work outside the home. I want to help earn money for the family, but I want to do it while working from home. I'm afraid if I get a job outside the home (there are some jobs I would really enjoy doing, like office/secretarial work, and other jobs I could tolerate that are just blue-collar jobs), then I'll get stuck and lose my at-home status for way too long. Don't want to do it. What I really want to do is find more private music students, or have more success with my stamping business, but I'm a bit stumped on where to find more leads for that.

An easier answer is that I''m hesitating on starting my next book...a memoir of my mission. I really would love to have that written someday, and have it in print to go along with The Falling Part (which is on its way still...I hope! I sent it to Granite Publishing a few days ago! If they don't want to publish it, and no one else does, I know my brother will do it for me :)). So, you can cheer-lead me for that! (Thanks!)

Lori Folkman said...

Jenna: way to put yourself out their by sending your book out on submission. It takes a lot of courage to do that. Have you been checking your email every 5 minutes? LOVE that feeling (or not). So I totally understand where you are coming from with the job thing. I haven't been able to find the courage to do that either because then it means I'm giving up writing time and I JUST CAN'T. The solution: both of us just need to buy weekly lottery tickets. It'll pay off, eventually. Also, we could go to Vegas and play the slots. Or blackjack. Or whatever it is they play there. With my luck, I'd roll in the bucks. :0 I actually may have a more viable solution for you, but it's too lengthy to leave in a comment. I'll email you. Soonish. In the meantime: you could take pictures of your behind and post it on Instagram and get an agent and a future fitness contract. (True story, read about it on the news today.) Lesson to be learned: you are sitting on millions.