Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Pucker Up

Happy Day of Days of The End of February of the Day of The Time To Win!

(Why am I talking like that? Because it is much too cold outside AGAIN to maintain proper brain function. I don't know why scientist keep calling it a polar vortex instead of blaming Elsa. It's so obviously obvious.)

This month's winning week as selected by Random.org was week number two, or in other words, the second week, or in other words, the kissing post. And what kind of prize goes with a kissing post? Why a kiss, of course! From yours truly. Pucker up. I will kiss the screen ... NOW. There. Did you get it?

(No that would be super gross and very un-prize worthy. Sorry for giving you the heebie geebies.)

The prize is something that will make your lips delightful. Tantalizing. Tasteful. (? Might be an inappropriate word usage, but me no know.) Something that will make your lips sing. Yes, literally.

I'm giving you my favorite lip balms! Straight out of the crumbs from the bottom of my purse! Ha ha, just teasing. They are BRAND SPANKING NEW. (Think it's about time we change that outdated expression, don't you?)



Yummers! I hope you enjoy! Oh ... wait, you don't know who gets to enjoy, do you? Well, out of 12 comments, Random.org selected comment #1. Nicole! (A different Nicole that last month.) Yippee Skippee! I'll get it in the mail to you.

See everyone next week!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

This Is Purse-onal

Several months ago, I was sitting with a friend at a basketball game and we were comparing the messes contained (somewhat) within our purses. You would think that since I was embarrassed with all the junk I had in my purse that I would have gone right home and cleaned it out. But nope. I continued to amass a junkyard within my trusty little handbag-- until today, when I decided that instead of writing a blog post, I should clean out my purse. So ... sorry friends, no post this week: I've got more important things to do.



Ha ha. Just a jokin'.

I am going to clean out my purse AND tell you about it. Exciting, right? (Yes, it has come to this. After two hundred blog posts, what else do you expect me to blog about?)

The first thing you need to know is that my purse is mid-sized, like a Camry: not gigantic like a Hummer, but not tiny like a Smart car either. It's just right. (Goldilocks has one this size too!) The second thing you need to know is that once something goes in my purse, it disappears into a black hole. (Doesn't Mrs. Weasley have a purse like that?) It seems nearly impossible to find something once it goes inside. I'm thinking I should design clear purses to aid women in finding their treasures. It would also save time at the metal detector stations. (Update: Google has informed me that I'm too late inventing these. Prada beat me to it. Rats!)

(Just wondering: how would you hide embarrassing items (like dog biscuits) in a clear purse?)


So ... in my purse, I found:

essentials like:
4 tubes of lipgloss
3 packages of gum (2 were empty; the other flavor is gross and smells like moldy citrus.)
6 pens (yet I can never find one when I need one.)
2 lotions (one smells like moldy citrus)
1 hand sanitizer (I thought I was out, hence the cold I'm currently developing)
2 tiny bottles of ibuprofen (because they are easier to carry than a Coke)

garbage like:
6 crumpled tissues (not used!)
2 grocery lists (used)
25 (yes, 25!) gum wrappers

in case of starvation: 
3 granola bars
1 pouch fruit snacks (no one in my family even likes those!)

things I didn't know were in there: 
1 toothbrush
3 bouncy balls
gloves
Oreo dangle earrings (remember I have a daughter)

loose change: 
97 cents (I'm rich!)

one item no one else will have in their purse:
a tube of frosting

(I should just leave it at that so you think I either I'm super weird or auditioning for the next Cake Boss, but since I never like to mislead you, I'll come clean: it's for my daughter in case she has a low blood sugar.)


(Ha ha, find this purse for your pooch here.) 

Your mission today, should you chose to accept it: dump out the contents of your purse and tell me what's in there. Also, how big is your purse? Do you carry a puppy in it? Do you change purses to match outfits? (Really, who has time for that? I simply don't understand. I change socks to match outfits and that maxes me out.) What's in there? Lump it by: essentials, garbage, foodstuff, odd stuff, and tell us what item is in your purse that no one else is carrying. Can you also tell us what item is NEVER in your purse when you need it? Mine would be band-aids. And safety pins. And money. Booyah!

AND: this is the last post of the month. The winner will be posted next week. What will you win? I'm thinking I'm just going to box up all the junk I didn't need from my purse and mail it to one lucky person! Score! You're definitely going to want to comment on this one!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Kissing Tale

In keeping with the theme of love and romance and pepperoni pizza, let's talk about something important. Something mushy. Something ... er, um ... sometimes awkward.

Kissing.



Think back to your pre-teen days (or college days if you are Paulashawn. Ha ha. Just kidding. But we can tease her all we want because she hasn't been on the blog in ages, so she won't even know we are teasing her.) and how desperately you hoped to share a kiss with that special someone anyone. Yet, did you know how to kiss?


No. No you did not. Nowadays there's all sorts of how-to videos on YouTube (I will not provide a link. Just take my word for it--unless you want to lose your Moko Loko.), but back when I was a tween, we learned how to kiss by practicing on the backs of our hands (please tell me you did this) and sometimes smooching the unwilling and unreciprocating current pin-up boy. I may have planted my lips on posters of Tom Cruise and Kirk Cameron. May have. I can't remember exactly because of early onset Alzheimers.

And then when the opportunity for your first REAL kiss arrived, it was like walking on cotton candy and pink bubblegum. Or was it?

 (for you Team C)


It wasn't.

Most likely, your first kiss was sloppy, especially if the boy lucky enough to share the first kiss with you was also inexperienced.

My first kiss was on a bus and I'm certain the people in the surrounding seats were more uncomfortable than I was. I remember wondering how to discretely wipe the slobber from off my mouth without him noticing. But, not wanting to slander the fella for sloppy kissing, in his defense, I suspect the kiss was slobbery because of my lack of experience and not his. 

I didn't ever have an unfortunate experience where I was kissed when I didn't want to be the recipient of said sentiments: did you? Teen #1 had a girl try to kiss him several times on several different occasions and he (rudely) dodged her every time. I'm mortified for her. Were you ever so forward a girl?

I did have one awful kissing experience: remember the scene in Book 2 of Wilder Times where there was that awkward tooth-conking incident? Yes, that really happened to me. Worst kiss ever. It happened to be a friend I was kissing, and said kiss happened because we wanted to prove that you could kiss a friend and still remain friends. It worked! We never wanted to kiss again.

I'm a lucky girl that I haven't had an awkward kiss in two decades. However, before I ever kissed the Hubs (who was just a friend at the time), I did kiss his bff and the Hubs (remember, he was just a friend at the time!) was hiding in the bushes. I felt slightly stupid when I found out later. But the lesson to be learned is thus: boys, make a move before someone else does. (Except for my boys. They shouldn't be making any moves at all until they are 23.)


Will you share your misfortunes in kissing with us? You may change names to protect the innocent and not so innocent. Or were (are) your adventures in kissingland always blissful and beautiful and worthy of being on a Nicholas Sparks cover?

And bonus question: featured are some of my favorite movie kisses. What are yours? 

Come on, kiss and tell! 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

For The Love of Austen

(Bigskyboys just had a slight heart attack reading that title, as she likely thought I have a crush on her husband. She was probably also irritated that I don't know how to spell his name right.)

Book trends come and go: witches and wizards, vampires, zombies, hula-hooping aliens, but in the realm of fiction, there is one thing that is constant: the love of Jane Austen. You would think that as each generation grows old and passes on, the passion for words written some 200 years ago would turn to dust, but as each young woman (and all sensible young men) come of age, they too find a kinship with Jane's long-gone world.

Not only is there a deep and abiding love for Jane's stories, there's also the desire to find anything similar to her works, be it a modern spin on her classics, or other regency romances that pull us into a world of gowns and cravats, midnight balls and afternoon strolls in the park.

Why is this?

I think it's quite simple, really: we long for the days of decorum.

Men looked like this:




and not this:



Women dressed like this to stroll about town:

Instead of like this:


Insert picture of any one of a large handful of celebrity women "dressed" for a night out here
Hint hint, the clothes resemble a "bare" skinned rug, which has recently been stolen, leaving the wood floor bare. Get it?

I think we long for the day when men courted women instead of whistling from across the street.

I think we long for the day when men called the object of their affection, "my darling," or "my love."

I think we long for the day when women were (dare I say it?) treated delicately. Women are different from men, and that's how our Maker intended it. Not to say that women are inferior or should be treated as property, as they were during Austen's era, but there was a certain gentleness with which women were treated back in her day. I think we all desire to be treated as a delicate rose--at least occasionally--do we not?

LivingstonslifeinMontana and I had a conversation last week about the scene from Emma where Mr. Knightly scolds Emma for being rude to Mrs. Bates, as it was not only using bad manners, it was actually considered immoral and socially irresponsible. Oh how times have changed! Nowadays, we are celebrated for being able to speak our minds, even if what we are saying is crass, uncouth, and oftentimes downright mean. I personally like the Thumperian Principle, in that if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all. 


Certainly, there are many things about the past that should be left in the past; like separation of classes and races, poor working conditions for the lower classes, and unrighteous judgement from those in upper society towards others who were not like them. But am I right that much of that which was good in their society has been abandoned by us modernists?

Would you have liked living in a Jane Austen novel? Are you a fan of Regency Romances? What other classic authors do you enjoy? How about modern novelists writing historical romances: who do you love? Do you love costume TV dramas or movies like Downton Abbey?

What aspects of a Regency Era (or later, as I prefer the Gilded Age) do you miss in modern living? (Afternoon naps were a common and respected form of recreation. I would have fit in well in that society!)

Phew, I'm long winded today, aren't I? (Speaking of long winded, I wonder if we like the Regency Era because there's never any flatulence jokes.)

Talk to me: tell me everything you love about Jane. And the era. And then some!