A Crushing Memory

So it's December! (I'm using an exclamation this time to indicate that I am now excited about this month rather than dreading it. Or at least I'm trying to pretend like I'm excited. Maybe I'll add a few more !!! to help force the enthusiasm.) It's December!!!!!! What does that mean on the blog? Well, that means it's going to be a short month. My kids are out of school on the 16th. Stop and think about that for a second. If you think, how lovely that Lori gets to spend an entire week with all five children twenty-four hours a day for eight days before the holiday, reconsider using the word lovely. The word mayhem might be more appropriate. So due to this early Christmas break, I will only be doing two posts this month: this week's and next week's. Then I will be staying away from the computer so we can have some "quality family time." Next week, the theme will obviously be something Christmassy.

That leaves this week to review the blog year of 2011:

We had lots of fun, didn't we? I met new friends, found old ones and I was supported in the launch of my two books by many amazing, clever, fun, and beautiful women. Thanks everyone!

I try not to look at statistics, but I couldn't help but noticing that one post this year far surpassed all other posts (over double the amount of page-views.) Do you know what post that was? It was the Wilder Times dream cast post. I think maybe, possibly, it has something to do with the handsomeness of some of the men I selected to be in the movie.

Since I am here to entertain you lovely ladies, I kinda feel like I should do what pleases the masses and display more pictures of handsome men. But no, my conscience will not let me do so. I will not post pictures of good-looking guys without due cause.

So I will not be posting any pictures of this guy:

Nor will I be posting pictures of this guy:

And I DEFINITELY will not be posting (more) pictures of this guy:

No, I will not drag this blog down into the gutter of man-lust! But we will talk about guys, or more specifically, about our first crushes. Do you remember back in your tween days? Back when you first realized that boys weren't stinky, gross, mean and stupid? Most likely, your first crush was the unobtainable celebrity crush. It was so much safer to set your sights on a guy you would never have to actually talk to, or even be in the same room with. My first celebrity crushes were:

Tom in Top Gun. I saw that movie SO many times. (Because of the fighter jets of course.)

Ricky Nelson, from watching "Ozzie and Harriet" reruns. I was devastated when I learned that he died just as I was entering my tween years.

And Kirk Cameron. I think I had that exact poster on my bedroom wall.

Like I said, the teen heartthrob guys were a much safer place for my awkward teenage affections. In real life, I was much too clumsy and airheadish to associate with any guy except those who were in the chess club.

Want to hear a painful real-life first crush story? Of course you do!

When I was twelve, I liked this one fellow so so so so so much (that would be a direct quote from my diary). Every other girl I knew liked this same fellow as well, including my sister. My odds weren't good. I was much too shy to talk to him, but I probably stared at him plenty from across the room in a stalker-esque sort of way. (Which by the way, is a great way to get noticed. Negative attention is better than no attention at all.) Well one time, we were playing volleyball at a youth activity and I got hit square in the face with the ball (I have snail reflexes; hiya!). It was painful, and I knew it was going to make my nose bleed, but I tried to laugh it off. Like it's so funny to have a volleyball SCRAB on your face. He came up to me, being ever so kind and compassionate, and said, "Oh my gosh, are you all right?" It was the first time he'd ever talked to me. And do you know what my response was? I whinnied. Just like a horse getting dragged to the glue factory. Seriously, I made this awful "neigh-ya-hahaha-waawaawaa" sound and then I ran away. I spent the rest of the night hiding in the bathroom, too ashamed to show my many shades of red (from the volleyball, from blushing, and then from crying) face. I think that was the only interaction I ever had with him. Thankfully we moved away a short time later. (My parents probably heard of this embarrassing fiasco and knew they must move quickly in order to salvage my reputation and enable me to become date-able material.)

So since I've shared TMI, will you please share as well? What posters of cute guys did you have on your walls? (Or do you still have on your walls if you are of that age or if you have a husband who doesn't mind you decorating your room with the faces of other men?) Also, tell me about your first REAL crush. Did it turn into anything? Did you embarrass yourself like I did? Do tell! And not to worry, your most private details are safe with us.