(You might want to sit down, this is going to be bad.)
There is a shortage of fresh turkeys this year.
(See I told you it's bad.)
Turkey shortage article taken from anywhere that delivers news on the WWW. The shortage might have something to do with that new movie Free Birds. Life is imitating art, yet again!
If you haven't already bought your turkey, you might have a hard time finding one. This is a tragedy! Turkey is to Thanksgiving what Santa is to Christmas! So what on earth will you eat for Thanksgiving? (I just realized my analogy might be wrong, since I don't think you are supposed to eat Santa on Christmas.)
The first year I was married, for some reason we'd had two large family gatherings in November and my MIL was tired of cooking turkey. She had decided to cook spaghetti for Thanksgiving instead. When I found out, I shed many tears. (Keep in mind that I was very young and immature and it was my first Thanksgiving away from home.) Since she is such a lovely, nice person, she found out about my misgivings and cooked a traditional Thanksgiving dinner instead. I don't think I ever thanked her adequately for that. (Is there a statute of limitations for thank you notes?) Ironically, about a decade or so ago, we had a big meal a few days before Christmas, so we decided to have a small simple meal for Christmas dinner. We picked spaghetti. It was like brushing your teeth with garlic. It was just so wrong!
What would be the worst meal you could have on Thanksgiving? And it has to be a legitimate meal that you would typically eat, not something outlandish and gross like sushi. I would say anything Italianish, like pasta and pizza, just because it's such a bold and contrasting flavor to down-home American cooking.
Remember the awesome scene from A Christmas Story where their turkey gets devoured by dogs and they have to go out to eat and the only place that is open is a Chinese restaurant? Have you ever had to eat out for a holiday? I'm lucky enough to be able to mooch off of my family full of amazing chefs, but I think if it were entirely up to me to cook the meal, eating out might not be such a bad idea. But what if there wasn't a good home-style restaurant for your holiday meal? Where would you eat out if you were stranded in Browning, Montana on Thanksgiving? Would a turkey sandwich from Subway satisfy your taste buds? I think I'd rather go for a burger and just forget it was Thanksgiving all together.
I do hope that none of the above scenarios happen to you this year and that you get even more stuffed than your holiday bird.
Do you have a Thanksgiving strategy? Do you starve yourself for days before so everything tastes extra good? Or do you begin eating more right now so you can adequately stretch out your stomach? Speaking of stretch, do you wear stretchy pants so your belly can expand? I've seriously almost passed out before because I ate about 50 bites too many. When everything is SO delicious, it's impossible to stop. And then just when I was about to recover and live to see another day, the dessert got brought out. Oh the pain. I'm hurting right now thinking about it. Ah, isn't Thanksgiving the best?
So here's your questions again in case you don't read my ramblings and just skip to the bottom:
1. What would be the worst alternate holiday meal you could have (or have had)?
2. If you had to eat out, where would you chose?
3. Exactly how much do you plan on eating this year?
4. Is there anyone willing to drive me to the hospital in case I do eat to much and my stomach explodes? (I used to think that really happened to people when they overate. I always wondered how much splatter they left on the wall when said explosion happened. Gross. I've matured a lot since I thought that 5 years ago.)
5. Oh, and how about this one: what is your very favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner? Mine is ALL OF IT. And the pie.
Remember, this is the last "normal" week this month. Make sure you comment so you can win the prize next Tuesday! Also make sure you comment so I don't feel like a turkey, because if I begin to believe that I am a turkey, I will become a turkey and THERE'S A SHORTAGE so I might end up on someone's table! Yikes! You must comment! It could save my life!
15 comments:
1. My dad and grandpa always wanted to just have pizza. Really? We had it every Friday growing up, there's no way we were sitting out Thanksgiving dinner for Pizza.
2. I would choose Tucanos. At least it still tastes amazing, even though there is nothing Thanksgiving related about it.
3. Last year I was pregnant and still having morning sickness and aversion to meats so I plan on eating plenty of everything this year.
4. I would definitely drive you to the hospital if you explode. I'd probably be on my way myself.
5. My favorite part is all of it, but especially sweet potatoes. And funny enough, I don't like turkey, so sometimes I don't even eat it. Sometimes I do just out of tradition.
Here's fingers crossed that my stove does not go out on my like it did last year. My first year hosting Thanksgiving and my stove died about a half hour before my parents walked in the door the night before. That was my Christmas present that year (a month early) It was horrid.
Nicole: 1. yuck. The thought of pizza for Thanksgiving makes my taste buds weep. (That's different from drooling, btw.) 2. Yummo Tucanos. I only ate there once years ago, but I can taste it just like it was today's lunch. 3. there is still time to get morning sickness by next week, if you catch my drift. Wink wink. 4. Thank you. I hope you can get to Montana in time to get me to the ER so they can suture my stomach back together. 5. I'm sorry you don't like turkey. Maybe it's because you are related (through marriage) to one two many? ha ha ho ho he he. Your stove better not go out if it's only a year old! If it does, you can always get some microwave turkey meals and call it good!
1. Worst holiday meal? Liver and onions. Which my dad loves, but thankfully not on the holidays. But we did have pizza one year that dad was out of town.
2. If I had to eat out, I have to say Chinese would be the way to go. Not a fancy Chinese place, but just the dive-iest, cheapest place.
3. I plan on eating a little bit of everything, but will start with a roll. I usually save it for last and then I'm too stuffed to eat one!
4. Of course I would drive you to the hospital, given that you can wait the 18 hours it would take me to actually get to Montana.
5. My favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner is my mom's gravy. I've never been able to replicate it. And cheesecake, since I don't like pie.
I'm always so excited for Thanksgiving since it means 1st semester is almost over :D
O.K. Everyone get your judging pants on!!
1. Anything other than Traditional Thanksgiving Feast would be abominable. I am a Thanksgiving purist to the letter, I even think you should dress up a little to have some bird, and not throw on your old Velvet running suit. Now don't get me wrong, you don't have to go all Downton Abbey and wear tuxes and dresses, but a little respect for the day of feasting please.
2. If I had to eat out, I wouldn't. It's that bad! I would feel so sad that I couldn't eat turkey and all the trimmings. But, if I had to choose, it would be a steak joint.
3. My plan for eating this year is a little different. It must be gluten free, so I'm not quite sure how I'm going to go about rolls, and stuffing, and pie. Oh My
4. I would totally drive you to the hospital because we will actually be in Big Sky Country for Thanxday!! Wait... Montana is Big Sky Country right?
5. I love everything about the meal. I love the turkey:brined is best, the green bean casserole, sweet potatoe casserole, Creamy mashed potatoes, frog eye salad, and any pie except for Mincemeat, Ah Thanksgiving. I love it. P.S. what is your families food tradition. Like we always had frog eye salad. So yummy. Sweet, Creamy sauce over pasta beads (that look like frog eyeballs)with mandarin oranges, pineapples, and marshmallows. Oh heavens, take me now!! YUM!! Maybe we will see you for Thanxday weekend. We should make a plan! Happy Turkey day!! Time to watch Miracle on 34th Street and enjoy a Thanxday Feast!!
Jules! So glad to see your name pop up! Liver and onions should be outlawed entirely! (Although I did have a fella tell me that FRESH liver, as in the animal had been slaughtered within the past 24 hours, is an entirely different beast. But I was too chicken to try. Which is odd, because I don't even like chicken that much.) YOU DON'T LIKE PIE? And you consider yourself to be an American? And my friend? I am shocked and dismayed. I bet you would like my hubby's buttermilk pie: it's almost cheescakeish, but even better and even more American! I'll pay you for the trip to the hospital with a piece of buttermilk pie. Deal?
Team C: (is the C for Celiac?) Judges wear pants? I always thought they wore robes. And just robes. (Possibly underwear though. I've never wanted to check.) Guess what? We are having a Downton Abbey themed Thanksgiving this year and we ARE dressing up. I don't know how I'll keep my kid gloves clean though. I shall be so embarrassed if I stain them with cranberry sauce! I'm so sad that this is your first gluten-free Thanksgiving. But, it will make it so you're not so stuffed that you are about to explode, thereby you will be my designated driver. YOU ARE COMING TO MONTANA!!! Yippee! But, alas, we are going to the other side of the mountains! Hopefully we will be back in time to see you! I will coordinate with your awesome sister. Gobble Gobble!
1. What would be the worst alternate holiday meal you could have (or have had)?
a. Probably a bowl of cereal like no one made dinner.
2. If you had to eat out, where would you chose?
a. Outback steakhouse!
3. Exactly how much do you plan on eating this year?
a. Like I normally do: Little bit of everything as slow as molasses so I don’t get full to quickly and more likely to eat more sooner than everyone else.
4. Is there anyone willing to drive me to the hospital in case I do eat too much and my stomach explodes? (I used to think that really happened to people when they overate. I always wondered how much splatter they left on the wall when said explosion happened. Gross. I've matured a lot since I thought that 5 years ago.)
a. I’m kind of out of range.
5. Oh, and how about this one: what is your very favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner? Mine is ALL OF IT. And the pie.
a. Well you have to have it all to make it Thanksgiving! I love Daddy’s fruit salad, spiraled ham (I don’t care for turkey), Mashed potatoes, cheese ball, Spinach Bacon Salad, crispy stuffing, and PIE! I love pie! I’d rather have it than cake on my birthday. Jared (who I’m rather fond of[don’t tell!] but trying to be just his friend) doesn’t like Thanksgiving foods and I told him it’s because he never had OUR kind of Thanksgiving. We Hamblins go all out for every holiday.
I got on FB and it freaked me out enough to cause me to take a hiatus from anything social.
1) worst alternate would be crab or lobster or shrimp
2) I wouldn't mind eating out anywhere this year (excepting restaurants serving the aforementioned sea foods)
3) I plan on eating more than my stomach can handle but not as much as I'd like to.
4) if a chunk of you lands here I will gladly deliver you to the hospital. Or bury you in the backyard. Except Rocky may dig you up. What a quagmire!
5) football!!! Actually we don't have tv, so I can't watch football. I guess I'll select the stuffing. Or the rolls. Or pie. Hmm, maybe that's the reason I'm not excited for this thankgiving. Pity party!
Lori, this topic is making me anxious! I've recently lost all the weight I ever hoped to, and I'm super worried about gaining it back. This year, the holidays are going to be a little harder for me, because my "I don't care" attitude is not welcome. I feel a little bit like I did when I went to Chuck-a-Rama last time I was there a couple months ago. Lots of anxiety because I would love to just eat it all, but then I can't bear the thought of all the guilt that would follow. It's hard for me! I think I need counseling for all of the food anxiety that I experience, seriously... :(
1. Worst holiday meal: deep fried anything (such as Kentucky Fried Chicken), or even baked things where I can see the grease and butter dripping off. I formed permanent fears during the "fat free" craze during my teenage years that have never left me.
2. I would love to eat at an all-you-can-eat salad bar type restaurant, that has turkey for the top of my salad. Yum!
3. I plan on making Thanksgiving Day an "eat as much as I want, anything I want" day. I will enjoy it. It's the leftovers that worry me--I don't want to have to battle with pies and jello the days following. What should I do?
4. I'll take you to the hospital after your stomach explodes, and I'll just check myself in to the psyche ward at that time so they can calm me down, K? :)
5. My favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner is that my husband takes charge of the kitchen, and he loves it. He does an awesome job! I love how he loves all the traditional foods, and we team up to make it happen (I love being the assistant while he takes charge!). My favorite foods on the table are the turkey and all the amazing veggies, plus stuffing that has celery in it for a little crunch. YU-UM. And pumpkin pie, with unlimited whipped cream (forgive me, but I prefer the artificial kind, the "light" version...and I love to squirt it into my mouth).
I'm looking forward to it! I hope I can get past my fears :).
Devree: I'm glad you get to go home for a good old fashioned Hamblin dinner instead of eating at the Arctic Circle in Rexburg. Gross. I ate there once and I don't think I'll ever forget the dryness/blandness/yuckiness plus the woman with 100 pounds of giggle hanging out from underneath her cropped shirt. It was a spectacular sight to behold! I promise I won't tell Jared, but can I have his email address/phone number? I just want to talk to him to make sure he's worthy of you. :) Did you invite him to your Hamblin Family Thanksgiving? And if you did, why didn't you invite me???
Paula: did you freak out because you got a stalker already? Was it because I listed your address, your phone number, your shoe size, and your gluten-free cookie recipe on your FB wall? Sorry about that. You and Team C are in the same boat. Too bad it's not the boat to Montana! I would cry if I couldn't have stuffing and pie next week, although I might be crying come Friday. I hope my head lands in your yard. You can put it on your mantle and admire me daily! (Nice use of the word quagmire, btw. Do you try your best to use it in everyday conversations? I think I should use it in my primary lesson on Sunday.)
Jenna: never fear, Lori is here! I do have a very sensible solution for you. I was discussing this yesterday with some friends: it's the chew, but don't swallow approach. You get to taste all the yummyness, but you don't have to worry about the weight gain. I recommend that you keep a large spittoon by your kitchen table. (there's another word I will use on Sunday.) But honestly, I'm not worried about you. I know you have tons of willpower, so you'll be able to walk away from all those leftovers. Or just make your family eat so much that they 'splode and then you won't have any leftovers to worry about!
1. Worst holiday meal was the first year away from home. It's never the same as mom's.
2.If I had to eat out it would be anywhere that wasn't serving Thanksgiving dinner. Would never meet my expectations.
3.As much stuffing, rolls and pie as I can! Can you say CARBS!!! Love them
4.I know where the hospital is, know a good nurse to fly you home from GF too.
5.Pumpkin pie. I always make two, one stays at home for me to eat all by myself. Aaahhhhh, makes me happy just thinking about it.
bigskyboys: Do you have your own secret cupboard when you hide the pumpkin pie so no one else eats it? My MIL hid some once and found them around Christmas time. They had grown beards! And mustaches! Tell your hubby I would rather not see him step out of a helicopter to greet me, since that would mean I was having a really awful day! (Although if he was wearing a suit and tie, I might be very impressed!) I hope your amebic dysentery subsides so you can gain a few pounds over the holidays. (Ha ha ha ha. JK) (But not kidding about the weight gain. I wouldn't mind if you put on a few pounds.)
Lori, didn't your mom do the same thing with the pumpkin pies? I thought I'd heard that story before…. or maybe they were telling us that story, talking about your mother in law? Help my memory out!
Nicole: oh my gosh, you are absolutely right! Do you see what it's like to live with Alzheimers? Frustrating! Yes, that was my mom who forgot about the pies. My MIL forgot to put sugar in the pumpkin pies one year, causing a shock and awe effect, but we must be polite and not say "what's wrong with this pie?" effect that rippled across the table. Two entirely different pumpkin pie stories, two different women, one tiny little brain. Sigh. BTW, my MIL is a fantastic cook and it's very uncharacteristic of her to forget an ingredient, especially one so critical like sugar. Something like that is more than likely to happen while I'm manning the KitchenAid. Also interesting to note (or AITN for you acronym lovers), pumpkin is possibly the only pie I can not eat! I think I'm beginning to understand why. (Harry pie can scar someone for life!) (Would also make a great Halloween costume) (Or a children's book about a boy wizard who liked to whip things up in the kitchen without the use of sugar.)
No Lori, you cannot have his number. He doesn't even answer MY texts so I'd be majorly peeved if he answered yours. I said he should sometime but I’m already that creepy chick (even though I’ve done NOTHING CREEPY TO HIM! [Yes I’m defending myself]) and everyone looked at me a little weird and it was silent for a bit. So we all pretended like it didn’t happen. He has to medically defer because he had a heart attack do to chickenpox attacking his heart and he was in the hospital and isolation for almost a month so he figures that’s better than failing all his classes. Lori you’re definitely invited but it’ll be a bit crowded because my aunt and uncle are coming with their kids.
Devree: Did I forget to say please? :( It's possible that his fingers suffered nerve damage and it hurts really bad for him to text, so he doesn't unless it's an absolute emergency. And maybe that's why it got awkwardly silent when you said that because everyone else was like "YO Devree, don't you know it pains him horribly to text?" I totally think that's what's happening with him. But seriously, you can have a heart attack from chicken pox? That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. You know what's the second craziest thing I've ever heard? You just invited me to Turkeygiving all the way down in Nevada when my own sisters, who are your neighbors, DID NOT! Tell them they're really rude, OK?(You have to be the one to tell them because I'm not talking to them anymore! Humph!)
Post a Comment