This Is Purse-onal

Several months ago, I was sitting with a friend at a basketball game and we were comparing the messes contained (somewhat) within our purses. You would think that since I was embarrassed with all the junk I had in my purse that I would have gone right home and cleaned it out. But nope. I continued to amass a junkyard within my trusty little handbag-- until today, when I decided that instead of writing a blog post, I should clean out my purse. So ... sorry friends, no post this week: I've got more important things to do.

Ha ha. Just a jokin'.

I am going to clean out my purse AND tell you about it. Exciting, right? (Yes, it has come to this. After two hundred blog posts, what else do you expect me to blog about?)

The first thing you need to know is that my purse is mid-sized, like a Camry: not gigantic like a Hummer, but not tiny like a Smart car either. It's just right. (Goldilocks has one this size too!) The second thing you need to know is that once something goes in my purse, it disappears into a black hole. (Doesn't Mrs. Weasley have a purse like that?) It seems nearly impossible to find something once it goes inside. I'm thinking I should design clear purses to aid women in finding their treasures. It would also save time at the metal detector stations. (Update: Google has informed me that I'm too late inventing these. Prada beat me to it. Rats!)

(Just wondering: how would you hide embarrassing items (like dog biscuits) in a clear purse?)

So ... in my purse, I found:

essentials like:
4 tubes of lipgloss
3 packages of gum (2 were empty; the other flavor is gross and smells like moldy citrus.)
6 pens (yet I can never find one when I need one.)
2 lotions (one smells like moldy citrus)
1 hand sanitizer (I thought I was out, hence the cold I'm currently developing)
2 tiny bottles of ibuprofen (because they are easier to carry than a Coke)

garbage like:
6 crumpled tissues (not used!)
2 grocery lists (used)
25 (yes, 25!) gum wrappers

in case of starvation: 
3 granola bars
1 pouch fruit snacks (no one in my family even likes those!)

things I didn't know were in there: 
1 toothbrush
3 bouncy balls
gloves
Oreo dangle earrings (remember I have a daughter)

loose change: 
97 cents (I'm rich!)

one item no one else will have in their purse:
a tube of frosting

(I should just leave it at that so you think I either I'm super weird or auditioning for the next Cake Boss, but since I never like to mislead you, I'll come clean: it's for my daughter in case she has a low blood sugar.)

(Ha ha, find this purse for your pooch here.) 

Your mission today, should you chose to accept it: dump out the contents of your purse and tell me what's in there. Also, how big is your purse? Do you carry a puppy in it? Do you change purses to match outfits? (Really, who has time for that? I simply don't understand. I change socks to match outfits and that maxes me out.) What's in there? Lump it by: essentials, garbage, foodstuff, odd stuff, and tell us what item is in your purse that no one else is carrying. Can you also tell us what item is NEVER in your purse when you need it? Mine would be band-aids. And safety pins. And money. Booyah!

AND: this is the last post of the month. The winner will be posted next week. What will you win? I'm thinking I'm just going to box up all the junk I didn't need from my purse and mail it to one lucky person! Score! You're definitely going to want to comment on this one!