Barn Envy

I wasn't joking when I said I was switching occupations. Welcome to Lori's photography blog!

I only do stationary objects because I really don't know how to use my camera. I just point, click and hope it turns out when I develop it in the dark room.

OK, so I was joking when I said I wasn't joking about switching occupations. But for your viewing pleasure this week, I will delight you with some photos of MONTANA.

The Last of the Canola-hicans

(Yes, the canola is now done blooming. So. Sad.)

Look at our cute little Montana Homestead. It's nothing fancy, but it's a roof over our heads:

OK, so it needs a little work. But still, I LOVE IT. I love thinking about the people who called this home.

It even has a claw-foot tub! Do you think Lime-Away will get it shiny white again?

 And to give credit where credit is due: half of the above pics were taken by the hubs while we were on a photo-shoot extravaganza, which I will tell you more about next week when we have a regular post. 

This is my very favorite barn in the whole valley. And guess what? It belongs to the family of my very favorite native Flathead gal. The farmhouse that goes with the barn is pretty darn charming too.

Look how cool this historic square grain silo is: 

(far in the distance. I know it's tiny, but I had to get a shot of all the wheat.)

The home stretch: this barn is across the street from the kids' school. 

Overcrowding is not a problem at our school! Such an amazing setting.  

I don't know why I am so transfixed by barns. I'm not a therapist (but I should be so I can save tons of money on my kids' therapy when they become adults. Oh wait, that won't really work, will it? I guess the therapist will need to fix the parenting mistakes I made, and that might be a conflict of interests if I'm the therapist.), but I think it might have to do with growing up in Montana and never living on a farm. I think the only way to cure this obsession is to get a barn and fill it with animals that I have no idea how to take care of: horses, cows, pigs, and giraffes. Sounds like a logical solution, doesn't it?

A Clean-Shaven Winner

Oh yeah ... I said I would be back with a winner. Don't you love how all the days just blur together during summertime? The only day of the week that stands out from the rest is Sunday, and that's the day we don't wear swimsuits even though we are going to be like salmon swimming upstream. (Our church gets flooded with  visitors in the summer, in case you didn't know. 1100 last Sunday in a building that is meant for 200. It's loads of fun!)

We had 4 regular posts in the month of July; Random.org selected week #3: the hairy week. (I don't blame Random.org for selecting that week: it was a good one.) And the winning comment was #2 Nicole! Yay Nicole! I think you have won more prizes than anyone. Please invite me to Wendover next time you go.

I was going to get you a razor and some shaving cream, but it seemed too intimate a gift, so I opted for some body wax. No wait: that is even more intimate. But I did stay in the toiletries section while searching for a prize and this is what I ended up with:

It's a bath-time gift set with shower gel, a microfiber hair turban, and loofas. Nicole, you have to promise to pamper yourself and think of all of your BlogAway pals slaving away and not getting a nice hot bath. :)

There won't be a regular post next week: I'm starting to panic that we are at the tail end of the summer and there is still so much we want to do. We haven't even been to Glacier yet. (Yes, I am totally ashamed! The Crown of the the Continent is just an hour away and we have a hard time making it there! Pathetic!) Anyway, I will probably post more pictures of beautiful Montana sometime next week, so check back for that, and then we will all be together again on Aug. 7th for another lively discussion. C U then!

The Ghost of Birthdays Past

The guys did it! They did 100 miles in 5 days! And yes, they came back hairy. Here's what teen #1 looked like at the start of the hike:

And here's what he looked like at the end of the hike.

Wow, that's some serious beard growth.

(JK, it's really dad and son, in case you couldn't tell.)

Just so teen #2 doesn't feel left out, here's one of him:

Can you see him? He's far away because if you get too close to him, your nose might shrivel up and fall off your face. (Not just him though ... they all smelled rather ripe. Sorry if this insults your senses.)

One more cool panorama from their hike:

And now on to this week's topic: 

As much as I tried to pretend that it didn't happen, my birthday caught up with me last week. Here I am blowing out the candles on my cake ...

20 years ago!!! Isn't that crazy? Where have all those years gone? That was a big year for me: I got married just 3 weeks after my birthday, and then the baby came 6 months later. (Totally kidding! It was not a shotgun wedding!)

A few months ago, I read an article in a magazine where readers wrote in with advice they would give their 21-year-old self. I thought it was a great idea and tucked it away to use at a later date. So here it is, but changed slightly because a few of our readers aren't even 21! (Jealous!)

What advice would you give to your younger self?

I'm going to give advice to 19 year-old me.

Dear young Lori,

Stay in school! I mean it! Don't drop out of high school. Oh wait, you did finish high school. Don't drop out of college! You'll never regret having a degree in something ... anything!

Don't spend your entire paycheck on clothes, even if the discount is killer. The clothes will quickly go out of style and you'll be left with nothing but weird outfits like this:

Janice, I think you still have one of those jogging suits, don't you? (You can't deny it; pictures exist.) 

While we are on the subject of working at the mall, DO NOT eat a Cinnabon every day for breakfast. Your metabolism is slowing down and you don't need 880 calories and 127 carbs for breakfast. (Yes, really. It gives me the sweet shudders just thinking about it. Yuck.)

While we are on the subject of calories, it might be a good idea to start counting those now. And keep your body healthy by exercising religiously!

But, love yourself more. Have more confidence. Be proud of your accomplishments. Do not trash talk yourself!

Laugh more, cry less.

Be a good friend. Don't ever talk about people behind their backs, and not just because it's not nice, but because it will come back to bite you in the butt every single time.

Keep in touch with all your dear friends, and don't be afraid to make new ones.

Be grateful for what you have, and don't envy what others have.

Give more hugs.

Love,
Old Lori

So what's your list of advice you would give to your younger self? 

And ... this week is the last full week of July, so check back for the monthly winner on Thursday!   :)

I Mustache You A Question ... Or Two

Just in case you are quickly scrolling through my blog and you see lots of pictures of guys and you are thinking: "What the heck? Lori has lost it!" ... I do have a good reason for this post. As always, there is a point behind my random topic. Here's why this week's blog has been plastered with testosterone: 

It's the time of year when the Folkman menfolk turn from groomed hipsters like this:

OK, not like that. Um, what are they wearing? And why??? Do you think after the models get backstage, they cuss and say, "I can't believe I had to wear that ... in public! That better not show up on the internet!" (Is it just me or does the guy on the left look like he has a shoulder-strap tan-line?)

Anyway, my guys go from looking clean and stylish to looking rugged and seasoned like this:

It's the time of year when we turn boys into men as they go on a death march recreational hike through the Bob Marshall Wilderness. (If you're from around these here parts, you call it THE BOB.) This year, the guys are doing a 100 mile hike in THE BOB in six days. And I thought Insanity was hard!

Anyway, as grooming habits are forgotten while the men become one with nature, it's gotten me thinking about facial hair.

Facial hair has been around for centuries. (I know, I did my research. Yes, I'm awaiting my induction into the Mensa Society.) In one form or another, men have always had facial hair. It's actually kind of unfair, because women can change hairstyles, but we can never really change our looks as drastically as men can by omitting one simple step in their morning routine. Well, I guess I could stop brushing my teeth and have them all fall out and that would change my looks, but that wouldn't be an improvement. And for some guys, facial hair can be--for lack of a better word--hummina hummina.

Tom Selleck might be the only man to rock the stache. Without it, he's just not so ... Tom. (My verbiage is abundantly prolific in this post, isn't it?)

Johnny Depp has the perfect bone-structure for a goatee. Without, he's maybe a wee bit too purdy. But like that's a bad thing!

Scruff makes Chris Hemsworth look less less like a Fabio-esque bodybuilder and more like a super something or other. The haircut helped too.

But ... facial hair isn't always an improvement. These fellas need their razors like I need my toothbrush.

This one is for the Pitts. And the next one is for Orville Redenbacher's Grandson. Oh wait, that's just the bow-tie. But the beard? Too gruff. 

My personal opinion is that most guys can get away with some scruff, but once it gets beyond an inch or so, it makes them look too old and unkempt. Also, for the most part, when the facial hair goes gray, it needs to go. The exceptions would be Sean Connery, possibly George Clooney, and good Ol' St. Nick. 

What do you think? Do some guys just have the right look for facial hair, or is it something that all men can do if they do it right? Who do you think rocks the beard/mustache and who do you think is better without? Do you like facial hair on your man? I like the looks of it, but the feel, not so much. 

Hugh Jackman is one of those guys who can go either way, and I added him just because he might have been mentioned in the comment thread a time or two. Or three. I'm nice like that and do things to please my readers.

What men do you think can go either with facial hair or without?

How about women? Any chick you can think of that's got it going on with facial hair? (I added that just because I'm feeling super guilty about spending my night looking up images of men facial hair.)

And I just realized I have never seen my dad with any kind of facial hair whatsoever. I can't picture him with it. But, he did have a rad Michael Jackson perm in the 80's. Now that I've mentioned it publicly, I'm sure I'll never be allowed to get my hands on a picture of it. Dang.

Your turn: let's talk facial hair. And don't leave me hanging or I'll feel like a dirty old woman! (And when I say old, I mean old. But not as old as Paulashawn, who just turned 4-0. I don't think enough people wished her a happy birthday to mark this momentous occasion, so make sure you add it to your comments!)

                             

What's With The Funny Business?

You might remember me revealing a harebrained idea here on the blog a few months ago. If you are thinking "Which one?" then you are no longer my friend.

Kidding.

But truthfully, being a writer means that sometimes my head is too far in the clouds. This most recent incidence of me getting cumulonimbus in my nasal passage happened when I had this great idea that I, Lori Folkman from Podunk, Montana, should write a sitcom.

But before I went out and spent my potential earnings from selling a sitcom, I did some research, because even though I'm a big dreamer, I'm also a realist. Guess what I found out? In order to sell a sitcom to a network, you actually have to work in the television industry. Weird, huh? An unknown, inexperienced screenwriter has virtually no chance of selling an idea to Hollywood.

Yes, I am a realist (oftentimes a pessimist), but this is one case where I am like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. "So you're telling me there's a chance?" I'm not letting my lack of skills and connections discourage me, because if it's meant to happen, it will happen. Well, not just happen: I'll have to work for it, but I am not afraid of a challenge. That is why I am planning on climbing Everest next year. (No, not really. I would have to sleep in a tent to do that, and you know how much I like my soft, cushy bed.)

So I am working on jumping over that hurdle, and still learning all that I need to know about writing for television and bam! There's another hurdle. It's my gender. Seriously.

I have learned that it is harder for women to break into sitcom writing than men. Apparently, there is the school of thought that men are funnier than women. Gasp! At first I was a little taken aback by this, but then the more I thought about it, I realized there might be some truth there. There are some female comedians who are truly funny, but a lot of them are just obnoxious and crude. And when you think about who was the class clown back in elementary school, was it ever a girl? Not that I can think of. Why do you think that is?

As far as funny female comedians, I can only think of a few who I really like:

Carol: such talent! So diverse! Can her show get picked up for another season?
And no one does it like Lucy. Yes, I love her.
Ellen is hilarious, but to be honest, I've never even watched more than snippets of her show. I don't watch daytime TV, because that is my writing time. I guess since I'm not into all the talk shows, I just don't know who is funny. Do you? Who tickles your funny bone? When you come up with your list, is it mostly male, or are there lots of funny girls on there too?

My favorite funny guys are: Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld, Brian Regan, Steve Carrell and Rowan Atkinson. I feel bad about just listing a few because there are so many funny male comedians.This is also a hard topic because there are so many funny people who aren't necessarily categorized as comedians. But when you think of funny people, who tops your list? Do share!

And just a motivational thought: “If you don’t have a dream, how can you have a dream come true?” – Jiminy Cricket.  Wise little critter, isn't he?

Just Because ...

Even though it's not Tuesday, I wanted to post something. I can do that, since it is my blog and I make all the rules. I just want you to see how pretty Montana is right now! I went out the other day and took a whole slew of pictures, but I will share just a few of my favorite, because after a while, they all look like yellow fields of canola. Oh wait, they are yellow fields of canola.

This one is canola-less and I have entitled it 50 Shades of Green. 

(And now I shall kick myself for smuttifying the blog.)

It's pretty, isn't it? Would you like to come visit? I happen to know a good little bed-n-breakfast you could stay at. They serve cold cereal for breakfast. And wash the sheets for company. It's a classy place.

Also, you know the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words?" Well, I just realized being a photographer is way easier than being a writer. I just saved myself from writing 9000 words, which normally takes me a week or two. I have now switched careers. I must go change my Facebook status.

See you next week for the real post, which will be about ... about ... um, something awesome like always.

When a Meltdown is a Good Thing

So ... Happy Birthday America! Wahoo! Fireworks! Parades! Ro-d-oes! Fun! Fun! Fun! Everyone loves the 4th: well, maybe with the exception of the emergency room workers who have to deal with all the drunken people blowing off their fingers with fireworks and all the firemen who have to put out hundreds of grass fires caused by fireworks. (Really, whoever thought selling mobile gun powder to the masses was a good idea?)

I love America. I would never dream of living anywhere else. Well, maybe Hawaii. Oh wait, that's America too. I should pause and honor America--all of our past triumphs and all of our future hopes, but I'm not going to do that with this post. Instead, let's talk about something else.

Do you remember learning in social studies that America was the Great Melting Pot?

I always loved that analogy. No matter where you came from, no matter who you were, once you became a citizen of the United States of America, you were put in with the mix, where you BONDED (which is another word to describe merge or melt) with your neighbors and then worked TOGETHER in one massive force.

Just stop and think about that for a second. Is that how you see America now? It kinda seems like we've become a society of hundreds of different porcupines, where each porcupine (or social/political/special interest group) stands up and yells for what they believe is right and no one better tell them they are wrong or that there might be a different solution or--BAM--you will get quilled.

Here is an assignment for you: love and accept someone who is different than you just because they are an American. Or even better yet, love and accept someone who is different than you even if they aren't American (yes, that even means Canadians) (OK, that was naughty. I was just trying to be funny and instead I was mean. Sorry, sorry, sorry.) just because they are another child of God.

Do you accept? Of course you do!

Now, just for fun, let's do something else melting pot-ish.

What are your favorite things from other countries that have become a part of American culture?

My boys would like to say thank you to China for introducing us to fireworks. (As always, I pray every 4th of July that no one in my household will get blowed up.)

My boys would also like to thank Germany for their excellence in the automotive industry. (Yes, I know Audi is not pictured here. I will never be forgiven for this. )

I would like to say thank you to Mexico for your fine Fresh Mex food. Without you I would be thin, so thanks for that. 

I would like to thank Brazil for your lemonade, which is really limeade, which is really a non-alcoholic Happy Juice and I am a limeaholic.

I wanted to give you the link, but the site is down. Try ourbestbites.com one of these days and see if you can find it. And as you know, Brazilian women are gorgeous and have rockin bods, so it must be OK to drink large portions of this even though it is made with sugar and sweetened condensed milk. Everyone drink up!

Teenage girls across America would like to thank Great Britain for these guys:

One Direction

Caitlin, I always keep my promises. You're welcome.

And speaking of the Brits, thanks for this:

When does Season 3 air? Anyone know?

What are your favorite imports that have become a part of your daily American lives? Do share!