And the Number Is ...

I can't believe no one mentioned poker. Or roulette. Or slots. How boring are we? Maybe no one mentioned it because gambling isn't really considered gaming, is it? So next week's topic: What is your favorite form of gambling? Oh BTW, I won the lottery!!!!!!!!!

JK.

You know what game I forgot to mention? The Farming Game! I haven't played it in decades, but I remember that it was the funnest thing ever! I just gave myself a family Christmas gift idea! Ding ding!

The prize for the month of November is--of course--a game! I really thought outside of the box on that one. Actually I did think outside of the box, because the game is not in a box. It is this:

Bananagrams! I've never played it, but it looks fun. It has ... like words and stuff. I like words! It's supposed to be like Scrabble but funner! (I know funner is not a word, but perhaps the people you are playing Scrabble with don't know that!) And it comes with a banana you could feed to a monkey at the zoo if you don't like the game. Win win!

So on Thursday morning, I thought Devree was going to win. She picked 3, and I thought no one else would pick another number that low. But then JazznJenna and her dazzling intellect came along and picked #4. And guess what?  My number is

5!

Yay Jenna! You won! I'll get it in the mail so you can have it to play over Christmas break.

See y'all next week!

The Games People Play

Hi! How's your stomach doing? Has it shrunk back to size? Our Thanksgiving was so yummy--that's because I didn't cook! We had a great time going over the river and through the woods (literally) to go to Grandma's house. You know what one of my favorite things about being with family is? (Besides the food.) Playing games.

At home, I'm usually too lazy preoccupied to sit and play games with the kiddos. Sad, I know. My younger kids played Battleship for the first time at grandma's house, which is just pathetic because it is one of my favorite games. I played it all the time with the older boys back in the day when they liked to hang out with me. And oddly enough, I was super competitive at Battleship. I had a hard time letting the kids win because I could not let my ships sink! (If you ever had the misconception that I'm a good mother, I bet this paragraph just banished that thought entirely.) (And BTW, what the heck was up the Battleship movie? I would rather watch Barbie Fairytopia than Battleship.)

Some people say that Board Games leave you bored, but I disagree. I love board games. Other favorites:
Monolpoly
Life
Clue
And ... Aggravation! Have you played it?  It's a family favorite.

More favorites from my childhood:
Connect Four
Perfection
(Those last two aren't technically board games. What are they though?)
Also, along the lines of Connect Four, we got Tetris Link last year and we love it.

Card Games?
I'm not a huge fan of most card games, likely because I stink at them, but I do love UNO.

Electronic Games:
Anyone remember this one?

I would love to have this game. Why don't they make it anymore? They make different versions, but they're ... different.

And speaking of electronic games: any of you gals like to play Video Games? I used to love, love, love Frogger, Sonic, and Need for Speed. There was a point in my life where I would get callouses from playing for too long. Crazy, huh? But that was back before I had so many children and writing was just a hobby. I don't play video games anymore, mostly because they are way too advanced for me, but I would like to get this one, just so everyone can laugh at me.

(I know it's been out for a bajillion years already, but we are late to join the revolution.)

How about Cell Phone games? I've never been a cell phone gamer. I've never even cleared the first level of Angry Birds. (GASP!) But we did love this one. We even had a birthday party based off this game.

I downloaded this one over the weekend because I figured I needed something to do in the car, but guess what? I got addicted to it!

And it's horrible. I actually hate it. It is so stressful. I should probably check my blood pressure while I'm playing because I'm sure it is through the roof. Being a short-order cook is something I could never do--yet I'm doing it for recreation. Weird, huh?

Do you play Verbal Games like I Spy? We love that one. The kids also love to play "I'm going on a trip and ..."

Tell us all about all the games you like to play! And just think, your suggestions might help someone do their Christmas shopping. Don't you love being a helper?

And ... it's the last week of November so that means it's prize time. But! I want to do something different this time. I was going to ask if that's OK with you, but then I remembered it's my blog and I can do ANYTHING I WANT. (Did that sound braty? I didn't mean it to. So sorry.)

So here's the deal: the prize will be selected from this week's comment, but it's a game. A SIMPLE game. I'm thinking of a number between 1-50. The one who guesses closest without going over is this week's winner! Keep a close eye on the comments so you don't guess the same number as another person. OKAZAY?

So tell us all about your favorite games, guess the number, and come back Thursday and I'll announce the prize. 

Those Who Read the Words of the Blog

Sometimes I have super profound, deep thoughts. This may be astonishing to you, especially if you read the story from last week. Here's the sagacious thought I had this week:

Do Native Americans hate Thanksgiving?

Me thinks yes.

Back in the fall of 1621, Governor William Bradford called for a feast and sent 4 hunters out for food. The neighboring Indian tribe heard gunshots and said, "Holy guacamole! Those white dudes are preparing to make war!" The leader of the Wampanoag went to visit the white dudes and found out they were planning a fiesta, not a waresta. Then the leader of the Wampanoag was like all, "Hey, can we come to your par-tay? We will bring the chips, 'cause y'all's the dips."

Anyway, when we think of the history of Thanksgiving, we think of this:

Pilgrims and Indians: hand in hand, sharing and caring. And then a generation later: not so much. We were all, "You better keep a close eye on what I do with my carving knife because pretty soon, you'll find it in your back!" Our ancestors weren't necessarily diplomatic.

And I'm probably not going to be politically correct with this blog post either. I don't mean to disrespect the Native American culture. I find their heritage fascinating. I love their stories, their reverence for nature, and their art. But I find it interesting how their language does not translate into English very well. Everything is so ... literal.

Since we live near a reservation, we see signs with beautiful Salish words, followed by the English translation.

For example, if you saw one of these (a barn)

The sign next to it that would say:

snòpyuÛtsqá – 

place for animals to stand around

See what I'm saying? It takes away the ... I dunno, ethnicity or something to translate their language. (See what I was saying about me being so profound? Mensa, here I come! Maybe I would sound better if I just spoke Salish! And wrote in Salish!) I just read that the Salish language is only spoken by 124 people and is considered "critically endangered." That is a true tragedy. Maybe I really should learn Salish.

Anyway, when you understand how literal the translation is, it helps understand why Native American names are so interesting. Remember Dances with Wolves and Stands with a Fist? And I'm sure you've heard of Crazy Horse--whose name was actually translated His Horse is Crazy. Some other fun ones I found are He Who Yawns and He Who Combs. Yes, really.

If you were a Native American, what would your name be?

My obvious name would be She Who Types, but I would like something more creative than that. How about Sings with Cuckoos. Yes, I like that. It could mean that I'm like Cinderella and I sing with the birds while I do my housework, or it could mean the other version of cuckoo. Perfect.

Also, according to Native American legend, 9 different animals were assigned to accompany each person through their life voyage. One animal was the main guardian spirit, or Totem. With this animal, a deep connection was shared with that individual.

My main guardian animal would have been a cat, since it is the animal I can most easily relate to. I am fickle, independent yet dependent, and ... mysterious. (ha.) Oh yeah, and most of all, lazy. 

What animal would be your main guardian spirit? Remember, insects and mythical creatures were often included as guardians, so you can use those. And feel free to look at this list if you want to find out what different totems meant.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope no one pops a button off their pants! And guys: I'm truly grateful for your friendship. Thanks for taking time to read my silly blog. It means the world to me. :)

It's a Mad, Mad Word

You guys did a fabulous job supplying me with an odd assortment of words. You guys are a league of extraordinary writers! But here's the truth: my Mad Libs story was a train wreck. It wasn't your words: it was mine. I seem to have that problem lately. So I doctored the story a little. OK, OK, I doctored it a lot. OK, OK, OK, I completely rewrote it. (You guys know I can't tell a lie, which is odd considering authors are professional liars.) So, much in the same way I did this post, which I know was THE BOMB, I give you this Mad Author Libs story. Your words are in red.

Oh, and my legal advisors want me to read this: This story is purely fictional. Any similarities between any persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl who lived in fantasy land. But the weird thing was—everything around her was real. No unicorns. No mermaids. No vampires. The fantasy was entirely in her head. She was (dun dun dun) an author.

Her name was Andrew, but people called her Andy-roo for short. She was dazzling with a long face and brown shoulders. But, as we all know—it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Andy-roo was not noticed for her looks, but for her large, sub-par, yet fascinating vocabulary.

She wanted to write a story for her favorite singer, William Pumpernickel, because as she always said, his voice was better than the pyramids. Everyone thought she was silly for wanting to immortalize him with polka-dots, but she wasn’t languishing about the unlikelihood of her story ever making it big in Arco, Idaho.

As Andy-roo saw it, her plan could go two different ways. 1. If all the planets stopped flailing around, she could find success.  Or. 2. She could fall flat on her face and end up in rehab with Lori Folkman and Hugh Jackman. She tried to think positively, but then the naysayers would say things like, “Stop sitting around: don’t you have better/more important things to do?” Yes, she would say to herself. But I’m not going to do those things because I want to pretend like I’m in Morgan, UT.

After her hopes had been squished, she grabbed her wireless keyboard and began to shoot out words like she was possessed by the ghost of Mark Twain. The naysayers didn’t know what hit them though because she was as fast as a peanut in a tutu. It was like dodging pajama-clad shoppers at Wal-Mart. While she really hoped her story wouldn’t be boring, she figured at least it wouldn't be as bad as driving a Ford!

 

She spent so much time at her computer that her bum felt like it was stuffed as a Thanksgiving turkey and her eyes were red as a rose and her body weight was 95% almonds, she joyfully stood up and yelled from the top of her toes, “This is better than how purple guys dance! I’m going to take this all the way to St. Jude’s and tell them I’m the next Jonathan Rhys Meyers!” (He’s related to Stephenie Meyer, ya know.)

It did not go well for Andy-roo at St. Jude’s. Basically, they tossed her out like a three-day-old pineapple and told her she was barking up the wrong tree. After that bad experience, she felt like she could no longer write. It was like the koala got her armpit.

But then she bounded back from her slump. She looked at everyone she loved very smugly and said, “I thought I had lost my mind, but it turns out that I had only misplaced it. Now that I found it again, would you please give me back my keys?” Keyboard keys, that is. You see, her family had taken away all her keys so she couldn’t type anymore. They complied and put all the keys back in place, except for one. Do you know what letter it was? It was the Scarlet Letter. Andy-roo figured she could continue to type, even without that well-known letter. If she could have kids moon-walk right out of her womb, she could certainly write with one less letter on her keyboard.

While her story still wasn’t finished and she still knew she had much work to do, she decided it was time to make a platter of homemade empanadas to send to William Pumpernickel to see if she could persuade him to open up his nose and sing, “Moses supposes his nose is roses but Moses supposes erroneously.”

 

But alas, this story is a sad one, as it is laden with misfortune. The package of empanadas was sent to the wrong address and Mr. Rogers ate them instead of William Pumpernickel. And get this: Mr. Rogers sued poor Andy-roo for reckless cooking when he found a fingernail inside one of the empanadas!

Andy-roo has decided that cooking empanadas is not her chosen calling and she will persist in writing silly stories until the day that unicorns grow fins and swim. 

The end ... or is it just the beginning? 

Tell Me a Story ...

Update: The rule to wait for two other comments before you leave another word has be rescinded. Give me your words! Quickly! Before the world runs out of words!

If you are like me and have a photographic memory, (hahahahahahahaha) (I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at me. But not as in: ha ha Lori, you are funny; as in ha ho Lori-o, your memory is pathetic.) you might remember how last year at this time I was participating in NaNoWriMo. For the non-writers out there (aka sane people), NaNoWriMo is a challenge to write a 50,00 word novel during the month of November. I loved participating last year and proudly posted my progress in a little gadget on the blog where I was all: "Look at me and my awesomeness."

This year, I have no awesomeness.

But rather than sitting around, wallowing in the sauce that will no longer gel with the awesome, I have decided to lean on you, my BlogAway friends. Will you help me write a story?

It's a short story. And it's Mad Libs style!

So here's how it works:

Fill in the word.

Need I say more?

Yes?

OK. Fill in the words in order.

The words are numbered to help us keep track, so all you need to do is look at the comment above you to make sure you give me the next sequential word. If it takes you a while to think of a word, hit refresh on your browser to make sure someone hasn't left a comment in the meantime. You may comment more than once (in fact, I  plan on you doing just that!), but you must let two other people comment in between. That way, everyone gets plenty of chances to play along. Got it?

Here's your list:

1. name
2. adjective
3. body part
4. another body part
5. attribute
6. name
7. noun
8. adjective
9. adjective
10. verb + ing
11. place
12. verb
13. person of respect
14. nonphysical verb
15. proper place
16. verb
17. simile using in a. (blank in a blank)
18. proper place
19. adjective
20. noun
21. simile using as a. (blank as a blank)
22. adverb+ly
23. noun+s
24. color
25. verb
26. place
27. person
28. noun
29. animal
30. body part
31. type of food
32. body part
33. verb+en
34. person
35. noun

Comments need to be left by Weds. at 9 p.m. and then I will fill in the blanks and publish the story.  Yes, I have already written the story, and no, I will not change it to help it make sense, nor will I change it to make it sillier. If we get to #35 before Weds. at 9, I will try to post the story earlier. (I love the word try. I don't have to commit when I use that word.) And since I don't want to interrupt the flow in the comment thread, I probably won't be commenting on your words. But I'll be watching. Always watching! (Did that sound creepy to you guys? Because it totally sounded creepy in my head.)

And just a small disclaimer--I have never written a Mad Libs before. This might turn into a horrific train-wreck of a blog post and will end up on the list of Worst Blog Fails of 2012. (Ooh, that has a nice ring to it!) If that is the case, please continue to __________ and don't think me __________. Danke _______.

Let Freedom Sing!

Happy Election Day America! (aka The Day to Be Happy You're an American!)

So I must apologize. Again. Because my fingers always go running off without first getting permission from my brain. This time, I need to apologize for what I implied about the outcome of the election. There is a 50% chance that I am right. But even if I am right, I should not gloat. No one should gloat. It's not sportsman-like. And it's not American. Although I'd planned on doing something silly for today's post, I digress. This day is pretty amazing and it's not something we should take lightly. Therefore,we must all be very serious this week. No laughing.

I shall now sing to you. (You guys just snickered, didn't you?)

Oh beautiful for spacious skies

For amber waves of grain

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain     (ah nuts, I don't have any pictures of cherry orchards. Next ...)
... And crown thy good with brotherhood

What? They're American, and they're brothers. They fit the bill, even without crowns.  (Devree, one of these pictures in the post is for you. I can't remember which one though ...)

From sea to shinning sea!

OK, so it's not a sea. It's the Flathead River. But it's oh so pretty. And I haven't gone to the ocean in ages. I have a fear of mermaids.

And that's where I'll stop singing. I don't want to lose my voice. It's kinda hard projecting your voice far enough to reach the whole world wide interweb.

You might remember my post to celebrate the 4th of July where I said all the things I love from other countries. Well I will be un-patriotic no longer! Today, we celebrate what we love about America.

I love American inventions: the telephone, the TV, the washing machine, the internet! I could go on and on and on. America is full of smart people who like ... build things and like ... make ... stuff.  You've heard the saying, "It's the best thing since sliced bread." Well guess what? That was an American invention too! Before that, people said "It's the best thing since the invention of the Band-Aid." And the Band-Aid (also American) was invented because people were cutting their fingers so often having to slice their own bread. Ow.

I love good ol' American Apple Pie, and love that I get to have a slice of mom's homemade pie in just two weeks. I also love that we have a holiday where it is OK to stuff yourself until you have to unbutton your pants.

Speaking of food, Bajio and Cafe Rio were both started in America, making it possible to have delicious Mexican food without needing a passport.

America has some majorly talented musicians, actors, authors, etc: so many that I cannot list them all. But it is true what they say: America's Got Talent, long before the TV show even.

Fleece is an American invention and without it, I would not be able to live in Montana. I'm hoping Paulashawn will make me a fleece dress for Christmas.

America has barns and farmhouses and the most beautiful, diverse landscapes. America, you really are beautiful.

But most of all, America has FREEDOM. Let it ring y'all.

What do you love about America?