So you guys ever have one of those days/weeks/months/years where you just need a good laugh? I get that way sometimes. One of my family's favorite things to do together is watch AFV. Everyone's mood improves, there's not any fighting--not even over who gets to sit where, and we all seem to bond in our giddiness. This happens with girlfriends too. Have you ever gotten together with your gal pals and laughed your heads off? Well, that is what we are going to attempt this week.
The topic: most embarrassing moments.
Yes, this is typically something that we share with our closest of friends, but y'all are my closest of friends, so I feel comfortable sharing. Anyone who just happens to be clicking past my blog, just keep on a movin (you can come back and visit next week.).
Since you gals know me so well, you have probably realized I can be a bit ditzy from time to time (and sometimes in between those times too). I think I might have been the role model for a few of the blonde jokes out there. In addition to being ditzy, I am clumsy as well. It is a wonderful combination. I think I have grown out of some of my ditziness/clumsiness, thankfully, but it is unfortunate to have to experience such geekiness as a youngster--when your self-confidence is at its lowest. Some of my embarrassing moments probably weren't such a major catastophe, but at the time, it may have felt like the world was ending.
Let's start when I was 12ish. I sneezed while standing with my back facing a row of boys of the same age. Unfortunately, the sneeze caused my stomach muscles to contract, pushing air out my posterior. Yes, they heard, and yes, I wanted to die.
Also at the age of 12, I had this experience relating to a volleyball and a guy.
At the age of 14--a freshman in high school--I tripped over my own two feet and slid on my belly down the hallway. I don't think Superman could have slid that far. A senior boy just happened to be walking by and he said, "Walking lessons are at four in the gym."
Also at the age of 14, I was ridding the bus home from school and my drawstring backpack tipped over, dumping all my items onto the floor. Of course, at that exact moment, the bus stopped, causing the contents of my pack to roll several rows down the isle. The contents of my pack? Oh, ya know, feminine supplies. Awesome.
At the age of 16ish, I went to a track meet and saw a friend speaking to an unknown fella. She was gesturing wildly with her hands. I thought she was being goofy, so I went to speak with her, using my hands in like-manner, only to find that the fella was deaf and he couldn't read my "sign language."
At 18, I got caught kissing a guy who wasn't my boyfriend. What's the big deal you ask? I got caught by the boy who I wanted to be my boyfriend. But no worries, it all turned out well in the end, as the boy who was hiding in the bushes ended up marrying me!
Fast forward to late 20's. I was a frantic mother of three and I left the house wearing ... wearing ... wearing (I don't know if I can type this, as it is WAY TOO EMBARRASSING!) a ... a.... feminine supply on my back. After going to preschool, to pay the garbage bill, and then finally to the grocery store, a kind woman told me that I had something on my back. She didn't offer to remove it for me, however.
I think that pretty much takes the cake, unless you count the time that I sat my big ol' pregnant butt in a fancy-schmancy birthday cake at a party with 30 other women.
So what have you done embarrassing? Please do share, otherwise this blog post will end up being yet another embarrassing moment.
17 comments:
I haven't had a lot of embarrassing moments, or at least anything completely mortifying that stands out. The most recent one I can think of was a couple of years ago at work. I don't remember a lot about it, but there was a connection with an irrigation pipe that needed fixed. My boss' son and I went in the back and dug it up to get it ready for replacing. Later, when my boss asked me if it had been done, I told him, "yeah, we went over and tongued it up." No idea where that came from but so awkward!
I went through that clumsy stage pretty bad. As a freshmen I fell UP the stairs in more than one occasion (pretty much weekly infact ) Had a teacher who would always say "hope you aren't chewing gum today Miss Jessop , you won't be able to walk straight"
This one is pretty gross... I still feel embarrassed when I think about it. I was at one of my first babysitting jobs getting instructions from the parents and I could feel a sneeze coming on but I was trying to stiffle it and all if the sudden I sneezed and blew a GIANT snot bubble. I was looking all around for a tissue and couldn't find one so I quickly used my sleeve (eww... ) The parents saw the whole thing and they never used me babysit again. Coincidence ? I don't think so.
I'm sure there have been plenty if things more recently but I seem to have blocked them out for the time being
I laughed out loud when I read your story of the indistinguishable sign language, ha ha! If we were all at a slumber party at 1 in the morning in our pjs with popcorn all over the ground, we could easily be laughing our heads off with these stories : ). By the way, our family likes to watch AFV together, too, just like when I was a kid. Isn't it great that some shows seem to last forever?
Well here come some of my most embarrassing moments...
The one where I was exposed: I was a young teenager. I was at a water slide park with my cousins. We were playing sand volleyball, in our bathing suits, of course. As I was reaching down to pick up a ball from the ground, my bathing suit strap fell off of my shoulder and the front of my bathing suit came down, exposing pretty much my whole entire breast. I was so embarrassed--and asked my girl cousin across the net, "Did you see that?" Embarrassment turned to mortification when a guy next to her, older than me and a perfect stranger, answered "Yes!" YIKES!
The one after the prom: I was on a double date, and we had gone home to my house in our formal attire for some home made ice cream sundaes. I scooped the frozen hard ice cream, and the big ball of ice cream flew up into the air, and when it landed I screamed! No one realized where the ice cream had landed until I reached into...there's really no nice way of saying this...the front of my dress (into the cleavage area), and pulled it out. Ha ha ha! We laughed about that one for a long time. I'm talking a few years : ).
The one where the kitchen was too clean: I had just taken the garbage out. When coming back into the building, I got turned around in my head (because I wasn't paying attention) as if I had entered the apartment building from the opposite end. I thought I was re-entering my own apartment, but why was the kitchen now so clean? And why was Brad (my neighbor, who happened to be the guy that I liked) sitting on my couch in his pjs? I had actually walked into his apartment, which was kiddie corner from my own. OOPS!! That was a good laugh.
The ones where I spoke Spanish:
When I was fresh off of my mission in Spain (and thus I still did quite a bit of thinking in Spanish instead of English), I remember once dozing off in a science class in college, and the professor asked a yes-or-no question to the class. I didn't realize I was so dozey until I realized that my loud "¡Sí!" exclamation didn't match with what the rest of the class had said. Oops!
And then there was the time I was taking a nap on one of the couches on campus...I woke up as one of the custodians walked past me doing something. When I woke up and saw her, I blabbed a big long sentence in Spanish to her (I think she had dark skin, and I made the mistaken assumption that English wasn't her first language). The custodian looked at me with a strange look and simply said, "I don't speak Spanish" and walked off. I felt kind of bad about that one...the things that we do when we're only half awake!
And then there are all the times I forget the words when I'm singing...hate that...
And lastly, there was the time I lost my open black ink pad, and didn't discover I had been sitting on it for probably a half an hour until I got to the *swimming pool* that night and found two big giant black rectangles on my ruined blue jeans and stained black skin! The permanent ink had totally soaked through, and left what looked like bruises on my leg for a couple of days, ha ha! I'm sure no one cared, but I just kept my towel wrapped around me for as long as possible, and I was just glad those hadn't been my favorite jeans : ).
I could go on! It's good that after we suffer the embarrassment, at least it's worth it because we get a good story out of it, right? Except maybe for that time you had that thing stuck to your back! ; )
P.S. Sorry I can be so long-winded! I get it from my dad, honestly.
Nicole: consider yourself lucky that you are poised, polished and sophisticated. I envy you. I'm sure I would have turned 12 different shades of pink had I said that though!
Anne: ha ha! You crack me up! Better to use a sleeve than just let it hang there, right?
JazznJenna: I think were are twins, separated at birth. I was dying laughing while reading your comment. Yes, good thing it's not the middle of the night or I'd have tears running down my cheeks.
Just think, if you would have been filming a reality show while playing volleyball, you would have been an instant celebrity!
What did the guy say when you walked into his apartment, and did you score a date out of it? :0
Well I have a few.... The last week of 8th grade we were sitting in computers just messing around because really? it's the last week of school. What work will you get out of 8th graders who are promoting in a few days? Anyway, I'd heard ABOUT the song Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake but I was gonna look it up but I forgot I was on google images when I typed it in. So of course an e-mail zips to my teacher saying "this computer is on an inappropriate site." She came and yelled at me and said I wouldn't get to go on our trip to the pool the next day. I was really upset but I went to the MPR the next day. My name was still on the list so I quietly tagged along. My friends Harry still brings it up whenever I see him.
Uuuummmmmm.....Oh! my family was driving to Canada with my cousins and we stayed at Ensign Ranch and there's a huge slip and slide thing. So I have this low-cut tankini thing. I'm talking to my MALE cousins and a huge horse fly flies down my top so I pull the top off of my chest too get it out and completely flash my cousins. They were teasinng me saying "whoa, Devree I never saw this side of you!" Then later, maybe a half hour, I found the big fat fly on my back in my suit still. yucky!
OH! Last year during our play it was my turn to come in but I forgot this scene existed so I sat there for 5-10 minutes thinking "who's supposed to come on?" I wasw off on this table by myself so I couldn't hear people fretting. This girl in my ward still thinks I fell asleep.
I can't think of how many times I've fallen down stairs.... but I always do this cool rockstar slide wher your legs go behind you and you're still in and upright-ish position. Also it's not that embarassing because everyone is worried about me.
I can't name all the awkward things I've said or corny jokes that no one gets until you explain them and they're jjust not funny after that point. I have to tell the whole backstory as well so I'm sorry my post is long.
Oh Lori, regarding your winner's blog comment last week:
Haha I think college would be fun with you. you'd always make me laugh after an exhausting day. I really need it because I don't think I spelled exagerating right. And I don't think I came from the indians because my mom always said "I'm gonna sell you to the indians!" when we made her crazy. But maybe she was deciding whether or not to give me back and make a profit....
I think that most of my embarrassing moments were mortifying enough to me that I have suppressed most of those memories. One that I have not been able to forget yet goes something like this;
Back in the good ole’ days when I lived with my awesome sister and her husbands (The Millers), Sir Iron Man Steve often encouraged me to run and ride with him. The running was all fine and dandy, but he finally convinced me to jump on one of his bikes and my embarrassing adventure began…
Now I have spent plenty of time on a bike, before I got my driver’s license I LIVED on my bike. But my bike was a mountain bike, you know, one of those bikes that you sit comfortably on and use your feet to push on those neat little petals to make the bike go. Well Steve’s bike doesn’t have pedals, it has these special clips. You wear special shoes with special clips on the bottom that “simply” lock into the clips that are clips instead of pedals on the bike. This is how they work; place your foot entombed with your special clippie shoe’s slightly sideways onto the clips that are on the bike, then while adding pressure to the clip, straighten your foot and voilà, you are now shackled to your bike and ready to go. Reverse the action to unlock. Sounds both simple and smart, right? NO
So I am cruising along with my special shoes whilst shackled on to my bike ever so gracefully, right up to a stop light. I use the reverse action to unlock one foot and placed it onto the ground for balance and left the other foot locked to the bike. Its rush hour in Riverton city, lots of people, lots of cars, lots of people in their cars. The light turns green. My plan is to use my free foot to give myself a nice push into the street, then keeping momentum I will lock my foot back to the bike and continue on my journey. What actually happened was the clip on the bottom of my shoe doesn’t offer much traction on the pavement, so when I pushed off the ground I didn’t gain much momentum. Now I am about a half of the way into the intersection focusing so hard on getting my foot locked back into place that I forget about the push to pedal action that is required for forward movement. So all at once I come to a stop and start tipping over on the side where my foot is still locked onto the bike so I can’t put my foot out to stop it. There is no way to stop it, I just fall right over in the street, and still half stuck to my bike. I start flailing about trying to get my foot off the bike so I can get back up, yeah that only took about five minutes. Meanwhile people are waiting for my foolish self to get out of the way so they can go, people honking, small children pointing and laughing. I distinctly remember a minivan packed with kids, all of which have their faces pressed against the widow staring at me with “that look” in their eyes. You know as well as I do they were saying, “Mom, why is that guy such an idiot?” An idiot I am indeed! Needless to say I gave up my biking adventures with Steve after that, thanks anyways buddy.
That was a long story, sorry about that...
I must have looked really funny walking in there with an empty garbage can in my hands and a confused look on my face...I don't remember what he said, but I kind of remember his surprise, and fortunately we were already friends, so we both laughed about it. Yes, I got a date, or more--we dated for a couple of months, but in the end, he married my roommate! Ha ha ha...that was fine with me. : )_
Where do I begin?
How about the time when I was in high school and had a blind date. I took great care to look nice that night. Well, when I came home and looked in the mirror, to my horror I looked like I hadn't washed my hair in a month. My hair was greasy and clumped together. Apparently, the Final Net hairspray was really Skin So Soft.
How about the time I fell asleep in a class and had to be shaken awake by the teacher who was asking me if I was o.k. Oh, and the worst part was that my class had left and a whole new group of kids were sitting in their desks waiting for the next class to start!
And then the classic: not being able to stop some wind from passing during a zone conference when I was on my mission. I happened to be on the front row with many elders sitting behind me. And I was on one of those lovely medal chairs that really magnify any noise! Good times!
Janice
Sorry, metal chair!
Devree: I'm going to start calling you Triple X from now on. :) How horrifying. The fly story is understandable: I freak out any time a bug lands on me. And Devree, if your mom gave you back to the Indians, would that make her an Indian giver?
Steven: dude, you totally could have died! You should thank your lucky stars every day that you are alive. And you should sue the other Steve. He was totally negligible for sending a Montana boy out on a street bike.
JazznJenna: That story is classic! I'm also wondering why the guys kitchen was cleaner than the girls!
Janice: I bet your hair was soft for days after. Did you get a second date? The one where you fell asleep is hilarious. I never knew you are such a deep sleeper! Did you drool?
I have a wind story too ... but I think you already know that one! :)
At 16 I was at a family reunion in Yellowstone. I saw a cute guy sitting in the hotel lobby and went up to say Hi. As I was chatting with him my lifesaver fell out of my mouth and landed on his bare knee. I prompltly picked it off of his knee and threw it in the trash can and walked away.
It was my second visit to the OBGYN for my pregnancy. This one was different than the first visit (the one where they do an exam and all the "invasive" things). But I didn't know it was going to be different. So when the nurse left the room and told me that the doctor would be in soon, I wondered where the robe was that I was supposed to wear. She left nothing for me to cover up with. So I undressed and grabbed a paper towel out of the dispenser and tried to cover myself with it as best as I could, which wasn't that well at all! And then I frigidly waited for the doctor.
He knocked and then entered and gasped and ducked and asked, "what's going on?" and I said I was just waiting for the exam. Then he told me that he doesn't do that kind of an exam on the middle visits during pregancy, just right at first and towards the very end. He then left me alone to dress again and then returned later.
I can't believe I just put this on the internet!
Lori, the floors in our high school moved or were greased, or something. I know because I had the same experience you did. Except I was a sophomore...and I slid until my face was hanging over the first step of the third floor staircase. It was at lunchtime, so there was quite an audience.
And then we come to what is known in my family as "The Paperboy's Discovery". It was Youth Conference, and a few of us decided to have an impromptu sleep over at Mindi's house. We stopped at my house so I could grab a pillow, toothbrush, and some clothes for the next day. The next day I discovered that I didn't have any clean underwear, even though I knew I had grabbed a pair. When I got home that night, my dad told that when he had gone to get the paper that morning, he found he paper hanging on the doorknob, along with my undies. Not only did the paperboy (a kid I drove to school) see my inadvertently dropped undies, but he had picked them up and hung them on the doorknob!
LivingstonslifeinMT: you mean to tell me you didn't say something like, "Want to go out with me, I could be your lifesaver!" That would have been the slickest pick-up ever!
PaulaShawn: I'm rolling on the floor! "What's going on?" That must be a highly trained, experienced DR., because anyone else would have said, "What the bleep?" And yes, you did just put it on the internet, however you are still fairly anonymous. Me, on the other hand ...
Sally: I bet it was the evil janitors. They probably had surveillance cameras and they watched all of us fall on their overly-slick floors, just so they could have something to laugh at. I love the panty story! What a brave boy! Did you ever tell him thanks? :)
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