A Winning Winner

Judging from your comments, I think all of us are a bit competitive, it's just that some of us are more civilized than others. (Ahem PaulaShawn! You could have re-broke her shoulder! Do you guys see what I had to deal with growing up?)

I thought of something else that I'm competitive at: Name That Band. I play it with my oldest son, and I love that I can name almost any band within the first few measures of the song that's playing. However, he is stumping me with Dubstep, (bleck) which means I'm getting old and out-of-touch.

This week's prize is something to help you watch those Final Four games, if you so choose:

10 Applebee's Bucks to spend at the sport's bar while watching something sporty on the telly. What fun! Winner, will you invite all of us to come along? Yes? Yay, I'm so excited.

This week's winner as selected by Random.org is comment #2. Nicole! That new puppy didn't ruin your day after all! (But everyone cheer for JazznJenna for having the fastest mouse-clicker finger.) Woot Woot to everyone! You're all winners!

Next week ... well, there will not be a next week. I said that wrong. There will be a next week: it will still be on the calendars and everything. And the world won't end (at least I hope not), but there will not be a BlogAway post next week. It is my kiddo's Spring Break, and I need break from my computer as well. I think I might even part with my beloved laptop for a few days and see if the computer geniuses at my local repair shop can figure out why it keeps crashing. So ... I will miss chatting with y'all next week, but we'll have tons of fun when we meet again on April 10th. C-ya then.

Marching Towards Madness

So apparently there's this thing going on this weekend; I think it's called the Final Five. I guess it's where 2 soccer teams, 1 football team, and 2 basketball teams play each other to see who is the best in the nation.

Wait, I got that wrong, didn't I?

As you can see, I'm not much of a sports nut. I certainly don't ever rearrange my schedule to watch games, and I usually don't even know who is playing at major events like the Super Bowl. You guys are probably gasping at my declaration and wondering if I am, in fact, an American, but sports just aren't my thing, ya know?

It probably relates to my clumsiness, as sports and tripping don't usually make good bedfellows. (If you don't believe me, then just watch this video. Seriously, watch it. You'll die laughing.) I was the kid who always, always got picked last during P.E. (Isn't that the most humiliating thing ever? Do they still do that in schools? It should be banned IMHO.) It also probably relates to my passive nature. I'm just not very competitive. I think if I were in the Hunger Games, I'd be the first one to die just because I don't have that drive to win. (BTW, did you see it? Wasn't it awesome? It gets high marks from me on one of the best book to movie conversions, as we talked about on this post, and Jennifer Lawrence was the perfect Katniss. Loved her!)

Do you think that being competitive (or not competitive) is just part of our make-up, or do you think it's a learned behavior? I think it's both. And I think I have learned to be even less competitive as the years go on, probably due to the fact that I have never won anything (but hey, that does not make me a loser. Stop with the name calling, will ya?). I suspect that fear of failure keeps me from trying to compete in things. Likewise, I would imagine that if you won something, you would want to keep competing in order to feel that euphoria again.

Are you a competitive person? What events do you compete in? (I don't even keep up with the Jones', so you know I'm not at all competitive.)

Do you like sports? Which ones? Are you a participant or an observer? (Basketball is my favorite. I love to watch it, even when played by middle-schoolers. And I used to play. I warmed the bench.)

Is there a hobby that you have that you wished was a competitive event: like sewing, bread-making, rock-collecting, or playing the accordion? (I guess all of those hobbies can be competitive if you are in 4H or something. And I'm not going to answer this as typing seems to be my only hobby these days.)

So ready, set, go: leave your reply. And yes, this is a competition. :)

I'm Naming a Winner

Good morning! How is your spring winter going?

I'm posting a bit late today because my computer keeps crashing. If you heard a loud "NOOOOO" last night, that was probably me! Please keep my computer in your thoughts and encourage him to survive a bit longer.

This week's prize is one of those oh-so-perfect ones. You'll need a fancy pen to sign all those autographs with your pen name/nickname/no middle name/rapper name.

 

And even more perfect is that our winner mentioned a few weeks ago that she has really nice handwriting, so this is perfect for her. It's comment #2 JazznJenna! Yippee! I'll get it sent off right away.

Thanks everyone for playing. See ya next week!

The Name Game

S'up? I think I recovered from my week of shame. But the question is: are you guys still there, reading my blog, or did you go *delete, delete, delete*?

Do you know what I've been thinking about lately? Pen names. In case you are wondering, Lori Folkman isn't a pseudonym; it's my real  name. I never really considered using a pen name. I guess I thought that having one identity crisis was enough and I didn't need to add in another identity. I don't know why authors choose to use a pseudonym--unless they are trying to get away from being "type cast" with one style of book, or they don't want their Jewish family to know that they write about the Amish, or maybe they think a different name would help them sell more books. Hmm. Maybe that's it. Maybe I should change my name to Tiffany Dyer.

But in all honesty, some names are cooler than others. For example: if I wanted to be a bad-guy rapper and my name was Marshall Bruce Mathers III, I'd probably want to change it to something cooler. Something like Eminem. Or if my last name was Mapother I'm sure I'd want to drop that and use my middle name so I could be Tom Cruise.

I've never disliked my name enough to want to change it, but I do get frustrated when people spell it wrong. Hello, LOOORI, with an "O". Whoever thought it should be spelled Laurie? (Although I had a super-cute southern belle roommate who called me Laurie, but she is the only one allowed to do that.) However, as a youngster, I HATED that I did not have a middle name. Everyone has middle names, and I just wanted to be like everyone else. I used to tell people my middle name was Natalie. I think I would take that up a notch now though and call myself Lori Natalia. That has a nice ring to it.

So  have you ever thought about a pseudonym? What would you change your name to if you went to Hollywood or Amazon? If you do write with a pen name, what made you pick that name? Is it hard keeping up with another identity?

Hey JazznJenna, don't you know this guy?

Also, just wondering what level of coolness you have to achieve in order to get a rapper name. Like JLo or LiLo. If I was cool, would I be LoFo? Or LoRoFo? (Wow, that's zingy!) And if hubs and I were THE coolest couple in Hollywood, would we be Lorithew or Matori? What would your gangster name/couple name be?

Also also, do you have a nickname? Mine is Lori the Speed Typer. Go Speed Typer Go! OK, so not really. But maybe you have a super cool one you want to share?

Have at it: let's play with names!

I'm Still So Embarrassed

The things I do for the sake of conversation. Do you know how many times I've kicked myself for sharing such horrible memories? I hope you guys can still look me in the eye (or the computer) after this week.

But, I did laugh a lot this week too. I hope you know that your stories made me giggle at my computer like a crazy person. (BTW, I do think this blog has given you plenty of evidence of my insanity, in case you ever decide to have me locked up. But if you did that, who would give you prizes? Huh? Huh? You ever think about that? (see what I mean?))

Since I've felt like hiding my face from the world when I go about acting so foolishly, I have often thought it would be nice to have a bag to hide underneath. I went to the store and found the perfect one. I call it the bag of shame:

How handy would that have been in some of my most uncomfortable situations? I think PaulaShawn could have benefited greatly from a bag of shame as well: way more coverage than a paper towel! (Still dying over that one!)

But, if the winner is not as foolish as I am, she/he may chose to use the bag in this manner instead:

(For carrying your fake basket of fruit and your metal milk tin.)

This bag would be great for going to the park or the beach or ... for taking with you to college, because the winner is #6 Devree!!! It's been way too long since you've won. And just because you were the winner of the bag of shame does not mean you will do shameful things at college! 

I'll send it off to you. Congrats! 

See y'all next week: hopefully you will have forgotten all about my episodes of stupidity by then!

I'm So Embarrassed

So you guys ever have one of those days/weeks/months/years where you just need a good laugh? I get that way sometimes. One of my family's favorite things to do together is watch AFV. Everyone's mood improves, there's not any fighting--not even over who gets to sit where, and we all seem to bond in our giddiness. This happens with girlfriends too. Have you ever gotten together with your gal pals and laughed your heads off? Well, that is what we are going to attempt this week.

The topic: most embarrassing moments.

Yes, this is typically something that we share with our closest of friends, but y'all are my closest of friends, so I feel comfortable sharing. Anyone who just happens to be clicking past my blog, just keep on a movin (you can come back and visit next week.).

Since you gals know me so well, you have probably realized I can be a bit ditzy from time to time (and sometimes in between those times too). I think I might have been the role model for a few of the blonde jokes out there. In addition to being ditzy, I am clumsy as well. It is a wonderful combination. I think I have grown out of some of my ditziness/clumsiness, thankfully, but it is unfortunate to have to experience such geekiness as a youngster--when your self-confidence is at its lowest. Some of my embarrassing moments probably weren't such a major catastophe, but at the time, it may have felt like the world was ending.

Let's start when I was 12ish. I sneezed while standing with my back facing a row of boys of the same age. Unfortunately, the sneeze caused my stomach muscles to contract, pushing air out my posterior. Yes, they heard, and yes, I wanted to die.

Also at the age of 12, I had this experience relating to a volleyball and a guy. 

At the age of 14--a freshman in high school--I tripped over my own two feet and slid on my belly down the hallway. I don't think Superman could have slid that far. A senior boy just happened to be walking by and he said, "Walking lessons are at four in the gym."

Also at the age of 14, I was ridding the bus home from school and my drawstring backpack tipped over, dumping all my items onto the floor. Of course, at that exact moment, the bus stopped, causing the contents of my pack to roll several rows down the isle. The contents of my pack? Oh, ya know, feminine supplies. Awesome.

At the age of 16ish, I went to a track meet and saw a friend speaking to an unknown fella. She was gesturing wildly with her hands. I thought she was being goofy, so I went to speak with her, using my hands in like-manner, only to find that the fella was deaf and he couldn't read my "sign language."

At 18, I got caught kissing a guy who wasn't my boyfriend. What's the big deal you ask? I got caught by the boy who I wanted to be my boyfriend. But no worries, it all turned out well in the end, as the boy who was hiding in the bushes ended up marrying me!

Fast forward to late 20's. I was a frantic mother of three and I left the house wearing ... wearing ... wearing (I don't know if I can type this, as it is WAY TOO EMBARRASSING!) a ... a.... feminine supply on my back.  After going to preschool, to pay the garbage bill, and then finally to the grocery store, a kind woman told me that I had something on my back. She didn't offer to remove it for me, however.

I think that pretty much takes the cake, unless you count the time that I sat my big ol' pregnant butt in a fancy-schmancy birthday cake at a party with 30 other women.

So what have you done embarrassing? Please do share, otherwise this blog post will end up being yet another embarrassing moment.

If I Had A Million Winners ... I'd Be Poor!

This week in the comments, Team C was the smartest, as she will keep making money off her goose with the golden eggs. And Devree is the most deserving of the million. In fact, if I got a million, I would would forget about the boat, the wave runners, and the guys' VW, and give half of my million to your St. Jude project. OK, OK, I'm feeling guilty. I would give up my Jeep too.

Speaking of millions: did you hear about the 81 year-old who just won the $336.4 million Powerball jackpot? Holy mother-load. If you want to read the story, click here. Kind of sad though, because I bet all her relatives are anxiously waiting for her to kick the bucket now. 

For the prize, I wanted to get some pretty jewelry, but since we all have different bling levels, I couldn't make a decision. (I will admit that I drooled while jewelry shopping. So pretty! So sparkly! So many styles and colors! But I was strong. I resisted temptation.) So instead of jewelry, the winner gets something that every fashionable gal needs: a handbag holder!

I do not have one of these (meaning I'm not a fashionable gal) but I've always wanted one. This way you keep your purse (and your millions) off the disgusting floor of McDonald's  your favorite five-star restaurant and hang it from the table instead.

This week's winner is #5 Anne! If I remember right, the last time you won, it was something with bling. You must be our bling girl! Do you have rhinestone studded rims on your Escalade? Dang, that would have made a good prize. (The rims, not the Escalade. I'm not that charitable!) Maybe I'll look into that for next week's prize, since I am spending money like a millionaire.

Congrats Anne! I'll email ya. See ya next week everyone!

If I Had A Million Dollars

Hiya! How is ya? Today we is gonna ignore grammar rules, 'cause itz fun to talk like hillbillyz.

OK, never mind, that got old real fast. We're going to talk opposite of hillbilly talk: we're going to talk like millionaires!

I know that in general it's not good for the soul to set your sights beyond your means, but sometimes it is fun to dream, isn't it? Have you ever thought of how you would spend a million dollars?

This is what prompts this conversation:

The hubs and the two teenage boys saw that the local dealership has one of these and they stopped to drool all over it, so much so that they never made it to their destination that day. What was their destination? Oh, just skiing on what may have been the last day of the year for good snow. Yes, they were that smitten by this new VW. And of course, all I have heard since is, "Please, can we buy it?"

My answer: "Yes, as soon as I have a million dollars."

So, if I had a million dollars, I would buy them a new car. And since they are getting a new car, I should get a new car too.

And since we'll have two new cars, we're going to need a garage to park them in, which means I'll need a new house.

However, the pool might need to be indoors since we only have about 3 days of hot weather each year. Musts for new house: enough room for kids to do cartwheels, closets galore, and no missing pieces of trim.

If I'm gonna going to (look at my hillbilly habits trying to sneak back in here! The shame!) have a nice new dream house, I'm going to need to have my driveway paved as well. And that means we can have a basketball court. Yay!

And then I'm going to need something for that Jeep to pull. Something like this:

Plus, I'll need a couple of these to go with it:

With all these new toys and the shiny new house, it will be hard to leave home, but I'll still want to take the kids to Disneyland and then go to Germany with the hubs this fall for our anniversary.

I'm sure by now most of my million will be gone, but I do hope to tuck away some bucks for schooling for the kids (and myself, as I seems to not learnd nough the first time round) and money for private lessons so they can become accomplished adults.

AND, I would also like to buy a national marketing campaign for my books so I could see my fan base become greater than 10.

Oh, and WORLD PEACE. I would like to buy some of that too.

So what would you do with a million dollars? Invest? Travel? Spend it selfishly, a la me? Let's beat the dullness of March (another unremarkable month) and dream a little, shall we?

Sisterhood of the Blog Winner

Hello lovelies! Thanks for sharing stories of families and starlets! When put in that context, it really makes me sound like I've been going "green." I can't believe I got those two topics to correlate.

Speaking of things that don't correlate: my sister (who is just a year and three days older than me) and the appearance of this lady:

I'm not seeing the resemblance. On the inside, yes; but that's not what we are talking about. If we were talking about that, this is who I would look like:

I especially look like her when it's bedtime and the kids won't go to sleep.

I had a hard time thinking of a prize for this week. Not everyone would enjoy Pam or The Office memorabilia, and I couldn't afford to buy designer jeans (my genes are more the working class-type anyhow). The only thing I could think of was a book with jeans on the cover.

 

I loved this book, but then I worried about giving it as a gift since it is a few years old and most of you have probably read it. So instead of the book, the prize is a $10 Amazon gift card, that way you can make sure you get a book you like. 

And I like that I don't even have to go to the Post Office to send off this prize, as I still am hibernating!

This week's winner is a new BlogAway winner. It's #15 Robin! Woot woot! Email me at folksinmt@gmail.com to claim your prize.

Thanks for playing everyone!